Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thanksgiving

Well, I finally got around to adding some images to the Thanksgiving post. Hopefully, the Switzerland recap will be up soon. I hope everyone is well and filled with holiday cheer. I am off to chemo Monday morning - I am still just plugging away. A more thorough update should come soon. Good luck to everyone on finishing up their holiday shopping. Keep that economy going!
Take Care and Live Strong,
Tyler

Check out Jessica's new ride. Pretty sweet. I would have rather seen her in a Prius, but you know, I can understand that high schoolers might not think that is the coolest way of getting from A to B.


My dad holding the newest addition to the family. He broke the rule of never taking a happy baby but somehow, managed to keep the kid happy for quite a while. I guess he has had a bit of experience around the little ones.


Who doesn't like a ride on a shark?


A table scene.


Me and the next cutest, I mean youngest, member of the family. I could use some photo posing tips from her. The arm thing is kind-of artsy.



I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. If you are reading this, you certainly have at least something to be thankful for. I had thought that I did a pretty good job of appreciating what I had before I started this journey, but there is nothing like a cancer diagnosis to make you appreciate every breath, every day, every hug, every moment spent with loved ones. It is a good perspective to have. Views are prettier, games funner, and food tastes better (unless you just had chemo). I really enjoyed my Thanksgiving as I got to spend it with almost all of my family that lives the LA area. It was really great that people from both my mother’s and father’s side got to come together at my folk’s house for a traditional turkey dinner. It had been a while since I had seen a number of them, but it is always great to get together and we always seem to pick up right where we left off. The Uno champion of the night was Aunt Charlotte. She made it look too easy. The newest addition to the family, little cousin Ian, was adorable and animated. Somehow that spoon just ended up on the floor time and time again. When you are that cute, you can do pretty much whatever you want. I wanted to extend my heartfelt gratitude to all of my family members who made it over and for making it a really enjoyable day. I hope everyone is lucky and has as wonderful of a family as I do.

I am sure you have all heard it before, but just to keep pushing it, November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month. These are the last few days to try to raise awareness in November (not that any effort should be halted just because the month ends). Try to wear as much purple as possible and spread the word. The more awareness that is created, the more money can be raised, research done, and hopefully treatments can be found that are effective against this disease. Recently, the House and Senate tried to override Bush’s veto of the Labor-HHS(Human Health Services)- Education bill, which provides the bulk of the funding for the National Cancer Institute. The current bill has a modest and very needed increase in funding for research in all cancers. Just to give you an idea of what the bill is about and the scope of it, the bill provides for a number of good domestic causes – Education, job training, and health programs that would benefit a number of different diseases in addition to increasing funding for cancer research. The entire bill is estimated to be about 600 billion dollars. The current version of the bill is priced at 606 billion, which was too expensive for Bush. He would like to see the bill come in at 596 billion. So basically congress and the president were quibbling over 10 billion dollars that would greatly help a huge number of Americans. In the same week that the bill was initially voted on, Bush asked for funding for the war next year. His request was for nearly 200 billion dollars with no strings attached. It is just hard for me sometimes to understand how a president that has taken the national debt from 5 trillion dollars to 9 trillion dollars during his 7 years can start to get thrifty on matters that would really help a large number of people in very real ways. I agree that national security is of the utmost importance, but the way that we have pursued that end just seems a bit off track. September 11th was an atrocity and a tragedy, no question, but so is losing 30,000 Americans to pancreatic cancer every year. It is really a question of where to devote resources. It is scary and horrible to think about dying in a terrorist attack, but really, the odds are pretty miniscule. On the other hand, there is a 1 in 3 chance that you will be diagnosed with cancer in your lifetime. Now lets look at the current allocation of resources, the 2006 Nation Cancer Institute budget was 4.8 billion dollars (that is for all forms of cancer and all approaches to stopping it – prevention, diagnosis, and treatment). The next year of fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is projected at 190 billion dollars. We are spending nearly 40 times more money to “fight terrorism” than cure a disease that killed an estimated 565,000 Americans in 2006 alone. Anyways, the veto stood by a close 2 votes in the house. www.pancan.org lists the ways representatives voted and if you have a minute, it would really help if you emailed your congressman or woman and let them know how important this legislation is to you. If they voted in favor of the override, thank them, if not maybe ask them why. That money will help us all in very real ways. OK, enough political ranting. Thanks for bearing with me.

I continue to plug away on chemo and do pretty well. I still feel really fortunate that my body seems to handle the chemo in an OK manner. I have moved to a once a week regimen but I seem to only get Taxotere or Mitomycin C when I go in. I barely feel like it is worth it when I only get one chemo. I think I also get the same amount of Decadron (steroids) as when I get 3 or 4 chemos. This usually sort of hypes me up during the day and I end up feeling fairly normal just a few hours after the infusion. The problem usually comes that evening when I go to bed. After my last infusion, I went to bed around 11 and was wide-awake until about 4:45am. I am usually a great sleeper, but that stuff just fires me up. My mind just races. After lying there for a few hours, I surfed the internet for an hour, then went back to bed and eventually fell asleep. If I could direct my energy a little more, I could probably be incredibly productive. Oh-well.

Another little issue came up when I went to the eye doctor a couple weeks ago. Eva had noticed some redness and I have generally been having a little trouble with seeing things that are backlit over the last year. We were wondering if it was chemo related and just thought it would be a good idea to get checked. The doctor was very nice, and what do you know, her mother-in-law had had a whipple just a few months ago – small world. She was a bit taken aback that I was so young and thought that I was in great shape for being on chemo for a year and 3 months. Anyways, the redness was just because I am fairly active and spend a fair amount of time outside, no big deal. Wear the contacts a little less, use some drops if needed. I decided to have my eyes dilated, just because it had been a while since the last time. Turns out I have a small cataract in each eye - right in the center of my field of vision. She asked if I had been on prednisone, hmmm. She agreed that taking the prednisone for the lung fibrosis was the proper course of action and, though it probably caused these cataracts, it was definitely the more urgent problem that needed to be addressed. Right now I can still see very well, but if it ever gets really bad, cataract removal surgery is pretty routine these days and they could actually correct my vision at the same time. And because I would be having it because I needed it to see, it would be covered by insurance. I guess there is always a silver lining. Just in case any one gets any ideas, I have to say, I would not recommend taking prednisone to try to get cataracts, so that you could get cataract removal surgery and basically free laser eye surgery. There are probably much easier and less elaborate ways to defraud you health insurance.

Some of the highlights over the last couple of weeks…
I have had a few fun evening activities over the last few weeks. I went to see “The History Boys” with Eva and my folks at the Ahmanson Theater on Friday the 9th. They were great seats in the second row and the play was very enjoyable. I would not recommend it, though, if you get squeamish at the idea of high school teachers groping male students. It is set in England which I think makes it OK, kidding, just yanking your chains you ol’ Brits. The next evening, the 10th, Aaron Durham and Kevin Word came up to the apartment and we all watched the Cal-USC football game. What a shame. Cal just could not even it up but it was still very exciting and really good to see some old friends. The following Friday, the 16th, Steve and Richard Larson came up for dinner and to catch up a bit. It is always good to see those guys, hang out, and drink some brews (or at least enjoy others drinking some brews). I had half a beer so I figure that I contributed to the effort.

On Sunday morning the 11th, Eva and I got up and jumped into the Ovarian Cancer 5K that started at Cedars. It was good fun and there really is no excuse for not doing a 5K when you can walk to the start. I have to say, I like their logo a bit more than PANCAN’s and their color is a bit more appealing for everyday wear. Kind of a turquoise blue-green. Still bold, but nice. It was a pretty small race but there were still probably over 1000 runners. We got Eva into the right mindset and she did very well. Posting a 24 minute 5K. We run a bit together, but lets just say our “training” runs are very relaxed. I actually tried to see what I could do without killing myself and I managed to post a 33 minute 5K. Shaved 12 minutes off of my time from two weeks prior. I tried to be more focused when I was walking and actually walk fast when I had to. I was also running scared as a marine brigade was on my heals most of the race. Their chants did seem to help my rhythm a bit plus the idea of being run down by 80 big dudes helped me dig deep. As always I also had little nemeses around me. The pudgy couple that I could just not get in front of (though I did beat them in the end) and another little kid (who left me well in the dust, well he was probably like 10, so I think it is OK). Eva and I were very pleased with our performances. Next year, at the LA cancer challenge, we will try to get the team together a bit more. We will still need the XC guys to do their thing, but it might be nice for the heart of the team (the lagers) to all walk together. Eva and I went to town on all the freebees after the race and then returned to the apartment for some post race gorging and napping.

The rest of the time has mostly been spent just doing day-to-day things. I am continuing to work about 75%. Combine that with chemo once a week and sometimes it is good to just take it easy on the weekends. Sorry about the lack of photos on this post. I just have not been carrying around my camera as much as I should be. I will try to get a few from Thanksgiving up on the next post.

Take Care and Live Strong,
Tyler

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Weekend of 11-03-2007

Just so everyone knows, November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month. If you are so inclined, please wear as much purple as possible and let people know about pancreatic cancer. I know that it is not the most uplifting topic but creating awareness of the disease really helps the cause. If you are really motivated, you can go to www.pancan.org and email your representative or senator. Awareness leads to money that can go into research which, hopefully, will prevent you or your
family from having to through what we are going through. Try to think of creative ways of promoting the cause. Some may have unforeseen benefits. On November 1st, I wore my purple tie to work and got quite a response. People thought was going for an interview at another company. I laid their concerns to rest, told them that Raytheon has treated me incredibly well, that I was very happy, and that my tie was just to raise awareness about pancreatic cancer. People joked that I might as well let my management think I was interviewing and then see if they would give me a bit to keep me around.

Overall, things are going well with me. I still feel well. Chemo continues and is still pretty mellow, life is generally good, Eva is amazing, and work remains fairly enjoyable. Basically, I am still just plugging away. My regimen seems to have changed a bit again as I was expecting Taxotere, Epirubicin, and Erbitux, last Monday, but got only Taxotere. For the last little while I have been going in once every three weeks, but I was in last Monday (10/29), I was back in Tuesday (11/06), and I am scheduled for next Monday (11/12). I had a CT scan last Monday but will not know the results for a few days, maybe a week. The scans continue to be mellow but the stress level for the few days before and after a scan go up quite a bit as they are essentially progress reports on your body.

With all the trips we have taken and the time that has gone to work, somehow it had been about 4 months since Eva and I had been over to Catalina. To remedy the situation, Eva and I cruised over to the island last weekend. In November, the Camping cabins open up making for some very reasonable accommodations at Two Harbors. The excitement of the summer has wound down quite a bit and the town returns to the sleepy character that Eva and I love so much.

We left Saturday morning and had a pretty mellow crossing- just a touch of wind chop on the water. We kept trying to get into the fog, thinking that it would be even flatter there, but the sun kept breaking through as we would approach and we never got into it. Two Harbors looked a bit eerie as an intimidating fog bank on the back of the island was funneling through the isthmus. We cruised towards the west end of the island and found a good spot for a bit of fishing. Eva is quite a little fisherwoman and she had the lucky hands as she brought fish out of the water first both on Saturday and Sunday. It took me a while but I managed to keep up with her and we ended up with 4 fish each on our first little outing (in case you did not already know, everything is a competition between us).


We may have ended up with the same number of fish, but Eva certainly beat me pound for pound. I do not know how this little guy got his mouth around my bait. I do like sushi and think I could have finished him off in about one bite. In case anyone worries, the little guy got thrown back.


We eventually made our way onto land, got set-up in the little cabins, and sat and read a bit. With everything that is going on, we both appreciate having a bit of time to just relax for a little while. The locals at the store mentioned that the haunted house was having an encore on Saturday night and that seemed like the thing to do (if you have ever been to two harbors, you know that was basically the only thing to do). I am not that big a fan of being scared, especially these days, but we gathered up our courage and made our way up past the Banning House to the game hut where they put it on. Appropriately, the haunted house was staged in the hut where they used to skin animals after hunts on the island. I have to say, I am continually impressed with small town folk. It just seems like they have a bit more energy or time and end up producing impressive results. It was a very elaborate haunted house - a maze that you walk through, pretty good size, good props, and some cool little effects. I was definitely freaked out. One spot would blow a puff of air into your face which really startled me. I think the guy had some fun as he puffed me another four times before I could get through that little corridor. 3-D effects and even some crawling made it pretty fun. A few of the “scarers” were pretty good but one or two could use a little work. It just doesn’t have the same effect if the gobblin is laughing as she comes at you. I did not mind keeping it a little light. After the haunted house, we cruised down to the other scene, the Harbor Reef Bar, and watched some football.

On Sunday, we leisurely got up and headed out for a bit more fishing. Again Eva whooped me early, but I managed to even it
up by the end. After fishing, we went for a short run/walk and then down to the restaurant for a nice dinner. Our favorite waiter/ fixture at the restaurant-bar, Deon, served us and took good care of us. It is always great to see him. Eva, amazingly enough, still likes him after everything she went through after Deon and I got drunk one trip. Not that there is ever a good reason to get drunk, but drinking to remember your coach seems as good as any. Anyways, dinner was great and then we walked the 15 steps over to the bar and watched a little more football (isn’t Eva great!).

Another big one for Eva.

On Monday, we had a little breakfast, made our way back fairly early, and were lucky enough to see some dolphins. They always put a smile on my face and just make me feel good to be alive. There were some young ones that were pretty chipper and we would actually get splashed by them jumping off the bow of our boat. One moment I saw three in the air at the same time, all just off our bow.



The crossing was pretty smooth, Eva handles the boat very well and before we knew it we were back in San Pedro. We got the boat cleaned up and then headed up to UCLA for my CT scan. I was not in the best mood as you have to fast for at least a few hours before the scan but I do not think I was at my most unpleasant either. I got the apple smoothies this time, tasty. You know that it is bad when you are so hungry and thirsty that you are looking forward to the Barium Sulfate shakes. I was excited that they would be able to use my port this time though there were a few port related hang-ups. The Purple Power Port (what I have, go Purple!) is fairly new and people are still just working out how they are going to handle patients with ports. Do you start the port early or in the room or only by a nurse or whatever. I told the guy to give me the needle and I would start it myself if they wanted. Side note, the port is actually pretty cool. It is really easy to hook up. Basically, Joan, the chemo nurse, just comes at me with the needle and sticks it in. It is like she is putting a sticker on me, essentially the same motion. I feel a little prick, just like my lovenox injections twice a day, and then the needle is in and you have access to my cardiovascular system. We joke that this would be a great option for junkies- almost too easy. Anyways, the nurse started the port, left the room, and the radiography tech hooked me up to the contrast. The usual procedure is that they scan you, then they remotely push about 150cc of IV contrast into your bloodstream, and scan you again. We got through the first scan, then, when they remotely pushed the contrast, the tube flew off and all the contrast sprayed onto the floor. The nurse had clamped the IV going into my port and the radiologist did not unclamp it when he hooked up the contrast. Just another instance of lack of communication. It was not a big deal. They reloaded, hooked me back up, pushed away, and scanned again. The contrast is pretty trippy because it makes you feel a warm rush and gives you a sensation of soiling yourself right after it goes in. After they moved me out of the doughnut, I checked my pants, and everything was ok. We took the rest of the afternoon pretty easy but then had to deal with some plumbing issues at the apartment.

Tuesday morning, we waited for the plumber to snake the sink and then made our way to chemo. My folks came up for the infusion and we all seemed to have quite a time. I only got Taxotere and it was over before I knew it. Only a couple hours in the office barely seems worth it. I hung out in the lounge with a couple of cool patients. One guy, Mel, was quite an inspiration. He was a 3+ year survivor and has been on chemo the whole time (no surgery). He did not hear all that well, but I would type questions on my computer in large type, he would read, respond, and before we knew it we were just chatting it up. Cool guy, great spirit. After the infusion, the group cruised over to Century City and we watched American Gangster. Nothing like an action movie for the post infusion, drugged up mind. We rounded out a great day a great meal and had sushi delivered – how decadent.

I managed to recover pretty well (it was only one chemo) and went in to work on Wednesday and Thursday. Not all that exciting but still good to feel somewhat productive.

Take Care and Live Strong,
Tyler

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Pancreatic Weekend

What a weekend. It was something of a pancreatic cancer festival this weekend as there was the PANCAN symposium on Friday, the PANCAN Gala on Saturday, and the Hirshburg LA Cancer Challenge 5K/10K on Sunday. A bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but there was a lot of hope throughout the three days. Sunday morning, in one of the most touching displays of support I have ever seen, a number of friends and family came out and ran for Team Tyler in the LA Cancer Challenge 5K/10K. The people who came out today joined others who have been incredibly generous in their support of pancreatic cancer research. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your incredible gifts of love, friendship, and support. You all are truly amazing people and I just cannot express how grateful I am to each and every one of you.



Great job Team Tyler! We all did incredibly well. I am not sure how much my 45 minute 5K contributed to the group but we ended up winning the team competition in the 5K and coming in 4th in the 10K. Awesome! The team raised over $5,000 for pancreatic cancer research. The running was impressive, but raising that much money was truly remarkable and transcends any mere athletic feat. Thank you all so much! Now back to the running, a special thanks goes out to the ringers who rounded out the team nicely. Well done to Amy (Alex’s girlfriend) who won the women’s 5K, to John Burke who got third in the men’s 5K, to Dan (Alex’s friend) who won the 10K and also to Alex for sort of orchestrating the ringer involvement. Props goes out to Spence for taking Tom down, to the heated competition between Mark Carpenter and Michael (his son-in-law), and to all of you who, like me, now are just winners for getting out there and going the distance. I am sure I will miss a lot of people but it was great to see Rosemarie and Margaret, my aunt and uncle Karen and Terry, the wonderful Lui family, the always fun Sanders’, the incredibly kind Fiduks, my old high school running mate Nate and his lovely wife Becky, John’s great girlfriend Caroline, the always inspiring Carlsons, Markus- the Swiss connection, big Dennis and his wife (great shirts!), and my old running buddy Adam. We even got one of the scientists who PANCAN is supporting to come out with his wife. Thanks Paul and keep up the research. I am sorry for anyone I missed. I will blame my forgetfulness on chemo. A big thanks goes out to my parents. None of this would have happened without you two. Great job on beating your age Dad and for coming in third in your age group Mom! Finally, thank you to my lovely wife. Today she walked with me, stood by me, and cared for me, as she has done over the last year and four months. I doubt how well I would have done without her in either race. With that wonderful little smile of hers beaming back at me, and her soft touch nudging me along, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other on the long road laid out before us. One step at a time, one day at a time, and hopefully, eventually, you get a chance to look back and see how far you have come.

Here are just a few photos from the race. Here is the lead pack getting ready to run. I just wonder if John could have won the men's 5K if he had gotten a bit more sleep.


Like any 5K, there is not only the race to win, but little races throughout the field. Here, Eva and I are trying to take down a walking 8 year old. I do not want to become Al Bundy and resort to stories from my glory days, but I used to be a decent athlete. I could have whooped this kid six ways frm Sunday in my prime. Just for the record, I did manage to outkick him.


I think my mother looks very young and aparently, the race officials did too as she was entered as a 29-year-old. Though she was flattered, she knew that she would be taking home some hardware if she was in her proper age division. Look how happy she is with her medal.Go Mom!


It was a little wierd seeing my name on people's shirts but I got used to it. It was also wierd when people would figure out that I was Tyler. Just sort of brings home the idea that cancer can happen to anyone. The guy on the left was Paul, a scientist that is funded by the research dollars we all raised. It was good to get him out of the lab and into the 5K. He sort of added a needed research element to Team Tyler (not that the trackhouse guys are not all that intellectual, but well, you know...)


As I said before, the pancreatic fun really began on Friday with the symposium. A number of doctors, survivors, caregivers, and volunteers got together to discuss what was new in the world of pancreatic cancer. The talks were very good and quite informative but there was a bit of repetition from last year. Like everything else, progress never comes as fast as you would like. That being said, progress is still being made. PANCAN, the pancreatic cancer action network, uses a fair amount of the money they raise to directly support scientists doing pancreatic cancer research so hopefully one of those guys will come up with something good sometime soon. Needless to say, the day was filled with emotional highs and lows. There are incredibly inspiring stories out there as well as incredibly sad and tragic. Lets just say it is a little nerve racking when it is by no means guaranteed that a survivor you met last year will be there this year. When you see people’s relief that you are still around you start to think that you might be in some pretty serious sh#t. That said, it was great to see a number of people that I had met the year before or had seen in Isacoff’s office. The survivors at this sort of event are really amazing and tend to be the positive optimistic people that you would want to surround yourself with. I am not 100%, but I was pretty sure that I was the youngest guy there and was reminded of that a number of times during the day. Just in case you did not know, I am aware that I am very young and have pancreatic cancer. Some people would come up to me and sort of “tactfully” bring it up as if I were not aware of one or the other facts. It reminded me of this one time waiting in Dr. Isacoff’s office when a nice woman leaned over to my wife and whispered “Ohh, he is so young.” It was not so much that she commented on it, but that she whispered, which caused my wife and I to muse over it later. It seemed as if it was a secret that they were keeping from me. “Ok, now Tyler, lets got to the office again this week for no particular reason. Just sit in the chair and take what is coming to you.” “Ok, dear” I might reply. My wife replied to the nice woman “Its not a secret, he knows he has cancer.” I guess I should not be so rash, especially when talking about cancer, but if you can’t joke about it, this whole survival journey thing gets old pretty quick. We have learned, though, to be very patient with people, especially each other, and to make considerable allowances, as we all get a little crazy sometimes. Anyways, enough ranting. The symposium was tough but very positive.

Saturday night was the Gala and it was quite a party (not exactly a trackhouse party, but then again, it was a different crowd). We (the family) got all dolled up and looked quite sharp, if I do not say so myself. My gorgeous wife was beautiful as always, my mother looked fabulous, and my father and I just did what guys do, showed up. The event was at the Beverly Hilton and consisted of a cocktail hour, dinner, a few talks, and then a fundraising effort. The night was hosted by Ryan Seacrest, though there were very few teenyboppers to woo over him. I tried to get my folks to bid on the African safari, but it just was not in the cards. The talks were inspiring and a lot of money was raised. Go rich people! After the fundraiser, they opened up the dance floor and, while a number of attendees headed for the exits, a number of survivors headed for the music. There is something a little liberating when facing your own mortality. I do not think that this disease imparts amazing dancing skills, but maybe being diagnosed just allows you to release your inhibitions and maybe just thinking they have amazing dancing skills is what took some of the survivors moves to the next level. My moves are still a bit restrained as I have not fully come to grips with my own mortality but Eva and I still had a wonderful time. The song “I Will Survive.” may have been written over heartbreak, but was sung and danced to with more passion by the people on that floor, than I can ever imagine some poor, recently dumped sap ever having. It was a bit amusing, as one of the fundraising efforts sort of went awry. They were selling champagne glasses with “diamonds” in them for a pretty penny. The idea was that one of the glasses had a 12K dollar diamond in it, and the other 200 glasses had cubic zirconias. There was a jeweler on hand but it seemed that the CZs were so good, that he could not make a positive identification on the diamond. I guess everyone was a winner, opps. We stayed until the last song, got some dirty looks from the wait staff we kept there, grabbed a center piece, and called it a night.


Again, thanks so much for everything that everyone did to make it an incredibly inspiring weekend. It was wonderful to see so many of you. Remember, November is pancreatic cancer awareness month so spread the word. Ok, I know that it not the most cheerful subject but maybe just bring it up if there are lulls in the conversation. Also, thanks for sticking with me after I continue to neglect the blog. You all are champs.

Take Care and Live Strong!
Tyler