Saturday 9-30-2006

Eva and I had come down to SP late Friday evening, caught up with the parents a bit, and crashed around midnight. I knew I had a long day ahead of me but at 5am I was awake. I just lied there thinking and trying to go back to sleep for about an hour and then said screw it and got up. My parent's kitchen was lacking some of the essentials (cookies, chips, and cheerios) so I was off to the store. What a surprise, not too many people doing their grocery shopping at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. I got back, had my cheerios and read the paper until my family rose at a more reasonable hour. I made waffles and we had a nice little breakfast to start the day off right.

After letting breakfast settle, we each picked our athletic endeavor of choice and were off. My father went to his soccer game, my mother and Eva went for a run, and I took the bike out for a spin. I was under strict instructions from Eva, " Walk your bike up Anchovy (the hill that likely sparked my lung issues a few weeks ago)." I agreed and was off. I just did a mellow ride (6 miles on the flats) and when I was almost finished I ran into Eva coming back from the other direction. I rode slow and we walked the hill back up to the house together. It looked like we just happened to run into each other but I was wondering if maybe she was hiding out and waiting to try to catch me riding up the hill (when confronted, she denied it).

In the afternoon, we headed over to Shoreline Village in Long Beach to meet some friends and go for a boat ride. Ken Overfield and my father have been friends since they met while my father was pushing me in a stroller and they decided to go in on a 13' Boston Whaler together. Today we were heading out on Ken's slightly larger boat and just going for a little cruise around the harbor. Tony Cappolla, one of Ken's old friends from SP, Eva, my parents, Leslie, my oncologist's girlfriend who we met in Park City, and her two kids, Max and Evan, rounded out the group. Tony had open heart surgery about a month ago, so like the 8-year-olds we are, we had to compare scars. His was more of the chest zipper variety where as mine is sort of the side pouch. We feasted on In'N'Out burgers and then were on our way. The fog never totally burned off so it was a touch cool but it was still just wonderful to be on the water. Ken's boat is really nice and it is just fun being aboard. We cruised from Shoreline over to Naples and then over to Cabrillo before heading back. The kids seemed to have a good time running around the boat. I think Evan made it up and down the ladder between the main deck and the flying bridge about 35 times. We had a few nature encounters and saw a number of pelicans and seals.

Recently, when I have been on a boat, I end up getting wet. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not. I was not expecting to get wet on Ken's boat, but somehow, as my father, Eva, and I were hanging out on the foredeck, a few pretty good sized waves sent a fair amount of spray over the deck and I ended up pretty wet. The picture to the left is of Evan, up to something no doubt, and was taken about 5 minutes before the spray same over the bow. If you can't tell by our legs, Eva and I were very comfy in our little nitch. As I was wiping myself off, my hat flew into the water and so we got to do a "man overboard" drill. I try to keep it entertaining. Evan also helped keeping things fun by showing us his acting abilities. He started off by "throwing up" over the side, then to add realism, he would take a mouthful of coke and "throw-up" over the side. The best performance was when he was on the foredeck with Eva, went to "throw-up" over the side, and, with a little help from the wind, ended up spraying coke all over Eva and the boat. Eva took it in stride just like the saint she is. I guess, at 7, he had not heard about spitting into the wind yet. I wonder if he knows about peeing uphill. Max, the older brother, enjoyed Evan's antics, but had even more fun when he got to drive the boat. Doesn't he look like a good little captain? Ken is behind Max and just keeping a weather eye on the water. My mother is not really a boat person (and is just wonderful to let my father play on boats as much as we do) but she certainly enjoyed Ken's boat. It was a lot of fun hanging out with her on the bridge and seeing that big smile on her face. Maybe my dad just needs to get a bigger boat. I don't really get to do as many activities with my mom as my dad (mostly because my dad just has more time off) but it just goes without saying what a big part of my life she is. She deserves more credit than she gets and has been key to me doing so well so far. Specifically, she has really provided me with the foundation to maintain pretty emotionally stable through these early rounds of chemo. Anyways, I just wanted to get that down. Here we are having a good time up top. After the boat ride, some old friends had a few extra tickets to the Galaxy vs. Chivas game so Eva, my father, and I headed up to the Home Depot center. The friends were Pete and Sydney Youngblood, and Pete's mother, and I had grown up playing soccer with their four boys. It was a great game and a really fun evening. Sydney is a six year breast cancer survivor and it was really good to talk to her and just talk about everything that is going on. The Galaxy won 3-nil in case anyone was curious. It was also cool to see a former teammate, Brent Whitfield, who got some playing time for Chivas. We played on a club team together in high school. He was pretty good then, but he has bulked up a bit, developed quite a game, and is now a professional soccer player. Pretty cool.

Pretty full day. Obviously, I am still doing pretty well and I feel pretty normal. Hopefully this continues. The only health issue of note is that the gas continues. Poor, poor Eva.

-TN

Friday 9-29-2006

Friday was a pretty mellow day as I pretty much just hung around the apartment and tried to take care of little things that needed to get done. I only made three trips to the bathroom during the night which was nice. I felt pretty good most of the day but had a few loose stools in the afternoon. I have been pretty gassy all week and am thinking that the Irinnotecan is probably the cause. It was a little unsettling as, I think on Wednesday, Eva and I were just wondering what kinds of things would happen if my pancreas just stopped working. We thought the first effect would probably be an inability to digest food, then blood sugar issues, weight loss, and on and on. And of course, now I am having some digestive issues. I am pretty sure that they are chemo related though because my weight is still stable and I have actually been able to put on fat. Hopefully, the gas will resolve itself. Poor Eva. She is certainly suffering through this with me now.

It was a tough day emotionally for both of us as Eva attended a funeral for a co-worker's father. He had been in the fight (against cancer) and had passed away the night before they were going to do surgery to remove a few of the tumors. He had some other heart-related health issues as well but it was still a bit sudden and very tough on the son. Eva said that they really celebrated his life at the service. Neither of us said it, but the funeral sort of hit a little close to home for both of us. I told myself that I did not go because of some slight nausea and the digestive issues, but, truth be told, I was just not ready to go to something like that. I guess that I should just use those feelings as fuel for the fight, so that some of the thoughts that were on our minds never come to bear.

In the afternoon, I did a lot to get our new computer up to speed. Installing programs, migrating data, putting in our DVD burner, etc. (hey Anna, I actually got this one to work). The new computer also allowed me to play my new game, Flight Simulator. I am about half way to my private pilot's license and have been toying with the idea of finishing it off so it was pretty fun to get back into a "plane". I "flew" a flight that I did a number of times in a real plane. I left from Long Beach, flew out over the Queen Mary, and then went back. I guess Eva and I both are little computer nerds. Oh-well, we get out a bit, too.

-TN

Thursday 9-28-2006

Just a couple of items before the update...

I figured out how to get video up on my blog so I added a little video from when we went to the tide pools. Check out "9-16-2006 Video Highlights" over in the archive.

Below is a link to the survivor story about a man named Walter Leaman. The week or so after diagnosis was one of the hardest of my life and this story really gave me a lot of hope after reading through some pretty horrible material on the web. I particularly identified with this story because the diagnosis was very similar - inoperable stage IV adenocarcenoma (pancreatic cancer), located in the body of the pancreas, and a metastasis in the liver. No one gave me a prognosis and at this point I feel that I will determine my prognosis (right now I have my eye on 80 years). One key difference is that it seems likely that I have a variation of adenocarcenoma, called cystadenocarcenoma due to the presence of a water balloon sized cyst in my belly. This variety secretes muscin, forms a cyst, and is much slower growing which usually results in a better prognosis (though the pathology and treatment of the two cancers are almost identical). Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story.

http://pancreatica.org/story_Leaman.html

The day was pretty mellow. I am still evaluating how my body is handling the chemo and I have heard that sometimes the day after or two days after the infusion it can be tough. I felt pretty good all day. I had some slight nausea here and there and I was a little tired but it was not bad. I made up for the last couple days in the bathroom and am back on track in that department.

I met Eva for lunch at Jerry's Deli where she was taking an interviewee out for lunch with another co-worker. It was a really pleasant lunch and the applicant was a very nice woman. She seems like she would be a great addition to Eva's lab. Whenever I meet with Eva and her co-workers for lunch, I always have these inner urges to say something like, "Work really hard and find me a cure. Quickly, now. Stop doddling. I am in the fight right now." I resist these urges as I do not want to become known as the crazy cancer guy. Other things pop into my head when I see people on the street, or when I hear people bicker or argue in the supermarket but I hold myself back in those situations, too.

I rested/blogged during the afternoon and in the evening, Eva and I went to shoot some hoops. We went to West Hollywood park (the closest park to our place) and found an assortment of characters hanging out. There was the business man in the suit on the cell phone, the bum smoking and sipping a Starbuck's coffee, the bum sleeping, the family with a couple of 5-year-olds, the man practicing throwing and twirling his rainbow flag by the wall so he could watch his shadow, and finally, a group of guys playing ball on the court. Eva and I shot around a bit and had some fun going one on one. Man, she plays defense like I play defense. It was intense. I could only go about one play, then I would rest for a minute, then go again. She is also just about as tall as me and she certainly can get in my face when I am trying to make a jump shot. I was pretty impressed with how reliably she can bank her free throws in. I think she could take Shaq in free throws, straight up. I did not last very long as I am pretty out of shape but my breathing was pretty good the whole time. No pain when I was out of breath and I recovered in reasonable time for my current fitness level. It was fun to shoot around a bit and felt good to move around. After basketball, Eva worked on her juggling a bit. My dad's buddies at the Sunday pick-up had game better watch out. Another few sessions and she could be trouble.

-TN

Wednesday 9-27-2006

Well, I equalled my record from the previous week with 6 trips to the bathroom during the night. Between breathing, sweating, and peeing I dropped about 8 pounds of water down to about 165. I got up with Eva and ate my Cheerios as she drank her coffee. It has been a bit of a reversal in the morning. When I was working I would just give her a kiss while she was sleeping and then be out the door with my Eggos. When I started chemo, she would kiss me just as I was getting up on her way out the door. And since I have been on the roids, we sort of get up and have a bit of time together (if I am not up 2 hours earlier).

It was my father's day off so he headed up to the apartment. We were thinking about a hike or a museum but then I remembered an outing Eva and my father went on while I was working that sounded like fun. We went horseback riding in Griffith park. It was a blast. My father brought a couple of hats up to get into it a bit. One of us got to be the cowboy, the other one got the be the lifeguard. Yes, we are a couple of dorky guys. We went out of Sunset ranch, which is just below the Hollywood sign, and ended up riding all the way to the top of Mount Hollywood. When we got to the ranch we sort of chatted it up with one of the hands and while we were signing the waivers we saw the young woman who we thought was going to be our guide. This young blond strolled over in a halter top with a semi transparent leopard print covering and facial piercings that matched the jewelry she had woven into some curls of her hair (just for the record, she was cute but Eva had her hands down). She sort of changed the idea of the horseback adventure I had preconceived in my mind. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she was unable to guide that day as she had to go to court to contest a jaywalking ticket (yes, jaywalking, and yes, she was inside the lines, the cop's story was that the "don't walk" hand had already appeared before she entered the street) .

Here is a shot of my Father and me at the top of Mount Hollywood.

Our guide ended up being her boyfriend, Kevin. He was a nice guy, from Milwaukee, worked on computers until his laptop was stolen out of his car (welcome to LA), and has been riding since about February. He really was a good guide except for when I gave him my camera to take a few shots of my dad and me, he seemed to be more interested capturing the hills and ravens. The noble steed my father was riding was named Blue, and my ride was Shakespeare. It was warm on the trails but there was a breeze in the hills and it was just a lot of fun to be on a horse. From the top of Mount Hollywood you could see Downtown, Westwood, and Burbank back in the valley. It was a little hazy but we still enjoyed the view.

My dad and I had a good time trying to photo each other and it added a little excitement to the ride. I got a shot of him "riding wild" and then I handed off the camera. My dad kept trying to get in front of me to get more than just a horse's ass but Shakespeare would not let Blue by. He kept boxing him out. As Blue would speed up, Shakespeare would just pick it up, too. Eventually, Shakespeare was distracted and Blue got by. Obviously, my father and I are expert wranglers. I feel that Shakespeare and I sort had an understanding. He knew the way, I was OK with the way, I would nudge him a bit here and there, and he kept it mellow. I had not been on a horse in probably 10 years but felt pretty comfortable by the end. It was pretty fun when he got up to a trot as he was boxing blue out. It still amazes me that we went horseback riding in the hills adjacent to a city of 3 million people. The learning curve in LA can be pretty steep, but with a little effort, you can do almost anything here. Here is one of the many shots of the horse's ass. Giddy-up.

After the ride, we got In'N'Out and my dad dropped me back at the apartment. It was just a wonderful time with my father. I hung out the rest of the afternoon and ended up crashing at about 7pm on the couch. At 9:30pm I got up for my last 2 Xelolda before my week off (Xeloda/5Fu is sort of in its own 3 week on, 1 week off cycle) and ate a little dinner. The day after went pretty well. There were some moments with a little nausea but I still got a fair amount of food down. I have not crapped in a couple days but am just glad that there has not been any diarrhea (which can mean bad things).

A little after 10, Eva and I heard a chopper outside that was sticking around a little longer than the usual drop off at Cedars. We went up to the roof and saw the police helicopter with the spotlight shining down on the streets within the hospital complex. There were a bunch of cop cars blocking off the streets, too. After a few minutes the chopper took off west and the cars all followed. We went down and watched the conclusion of the chase on the news. It was quite the LA experience for Eva as this sort of thing is a little rare in Switzerland.

-TN

Tuesday 9-26-2006

I took the morning pretty easy and was just trying to hydrate and hang out. It is pretty important for me to stay hydrated on the days I get Cisplatin if I want to maintain normal kidney function after all this. In the afternoon we made our way to the infusion and again I got set-up in the lounge. Sabrina, the German woman from the day before, was there with her daughter and we started chatting it up. It was really wonderful. She was pretty funny and just full of life. It was really cool to hear that she has been able to continue to travel while on chemo. She just has Dr. Isacoff write down what she needs and you can get this stuff in almost any developed country. Sabrina keeps an apartment in Berlin and had just spent a month over there in August. She did say though that because you are a little down on your chemo weeks (she gets it every other week), you really need to spend like 6 weeks there to do what you might normally do in 4. Seems like a pretty good excuse to extend your stay. This was really encouraging because Eva and I were hoping to head over to Switzerland this December to spend time with her family.

After a couple exchanges in German between Sabrina and her daughter, Eva mentioned that she could understand them and it was over. I just sort of sat there and enjoyed the flurry of excitement as the women got to know each other in German. I think I caught a couple words here and there and I really enjoy hearing Eva speak other languages. As the Deutsch-fest continued, another woman joined us in the lounge. I cannot imagine what she was thinking as she sat down with us. I told her that I did not understand either and so we started talking a bit. The three patients relayed various parts of our stories which revealed that both women had gone through pretty bad experiences at City of Hope (or, as Sabrina refers to it, City of Despair). Basically, they said that they both felt like pieces of meat and that they both felt it was just an institution to try to use your body to get some scientific information out of you that may be useful to someone else down the road. Sabrina said she never left there without crying. She was actually in a clinical trial there for quite some time before kind of realizing that there were other options and she eventually found her way into Dr. Isacoff's office. Both women have outlived the prognoses given at City of Hope and look to be doing very well. Again and again, I feel very lucky to have gotten into Dr. Isacoff's office from the beginning.

I got my hydration bag, the Cisplatin, and the Erbitux and really had a fun time during the infusion. I think we had as much fun as anybody in our situations could have. It is still a little trippy thinking about how toxic the stuff that they are dripping right into our veins is. Quite the paradox how this medicine gives life by destroying it.

I kept it mellow in the evening and just tried to hydrate, eat, and relax while Eva continued wreaking havoc on elves or whatnot. I have done well with the weight and have been pretty stable around 164 in the mornings and the high 160's at night - pretty much back to my normal body weight. This difference is that most of the weight I lost was muscle mass and most of the weight I put back on has been fat. I have a little belly going on which is a little hard for me to get used to. I bend over and have this extra stuff there. It is especially trippy because the left side of my belly still has no feeling and that just sort of makes the whole thing feel even bigger (like you cheek with novacane). Eva is very supportive, says she still finds me attractive, and even mentioned she kind of likes the little extra to hold onto. I get over it pretty quickly and just feel lucky that my body is still working and that I can put on weight. My eating is light on infusion days but over the weekend I realized that I have a new sympathy for overweight people. As I have been trying to gain weight, I have tried to eat a lot and often as well as upping the calorie density. As a result, my stomach has expanded quite a bit, I get hungrier more often, and it takes much more to fill me up. I can totally see how this cycle could just perpetuate itself until your weight was out of control. This is not even taking into account all the physcological issues involved with being fat in our society. Anyways, I feel their pain, especially after hydrating myself up to 173. I felt like a fat slob sitting on the couch but I guess that is how it is going to be on Cisplatin days. It should be a fun night tonight. Maybe I can break last week's record on bathroom trips.

-TN

Monday 9-25-2006

Monday morning I was just wired at 5am. My mind just could not stop thinking about all sorts of little tasks. Ahh, the joys of prednisone. Being that our apartment is pretty much a glorified shoebox and the wall separating the bedroom is really just vertical blinds, I had to figure out how to entertain myself without disturbing my sleeping wife. I ended up using the dinner table and a blanket and made a fort under which I could use my laptop (Eva is very light sensitive). She was a little curious when I was not in bed but found me pretty quickly after she got up.

I leapt through the various hoops and renewed our parking permits (Oh, how I love the Los Angeles Parking Violations Bureau) and then went to pick up a graphics card for the new computer. I just seemed to be off in my timing all morning. I left before 8 to move the car for street sweeping (but we were actually on the right side and sweeping was not until Tuesday), then the web said the parking bureau opened at 8 (it opens at 9), then I ended up at Comp-USA about 20 minutes before it opened. Nothing like sitting in the car waiting to get stuff done. Fortunately, Grandma is only a phone call away.

In the afternoon, Eva and I went for my infusion. I got Gemzar and Irinotecan as well as all the pre-meds. My counts were good. My whites were a little high (but I am not sick so I guess it is OK), my reds were just below normal (but very good for someone on chemo), and my platelets were at like 550,000 (high for normal people). It almost seems like I am a healthy person. Going in, Eva and I thought I was just going to get Erbitux but we ended up with a full round. I will get Cisplatin and Erbitux on Tuesday. I was kidding with the doctor about being able to start the IV myself by the end of this and then he just handed it over. I smiled, thanked him for the opportunity, and told him maybe in a month or two. I got my chemo in the "lounge" which is a small area in the office with 3 lazy boys and a couple of chairs for caregivers. There are also a few rooms where you can lie down and get your infusion. They are a little more private if you have a big support group and they are also where they put you when you first get a new kind of chemo (so that if you have a reaction and pass out you don't give the other patients heart attacks). I enjoy the lounge as it is more comfy and I and have met some pretty interesting people. I met a really nice older woman who actually used to live in SP and then a German woman who I did not get to talk to very much but I could tell she had a lot of spunk. Eva's friend Marcus stopped by and kept us company for most of the infusion. It was really nice hanging out with him. He has been a wonderful friend to both Eva and I.

I was pretty wiped out right after the infusion and was in full "Eva you are the giver of life" docile mode. Eva sees my disposition go from tough and semi-brutish (hopefully attributed to the steroids) before the infusion to completely docile, semi-helpless, and lamb like after the infusion. I actually perked up a bit in the evening and installed the video card (of-course it took a bit more effort than expected and I got a couple looks from Eva as the screen would come up with a total of 16 vibrant colors when we were expecting millions). Once I got it working, she was finally able to play the game I had gotten her for her birthday, Heroes of Might and Magic V. Luckily she had already cooked and incredible dinner (she took my bacon wrapped pork loin up a level by wrapping it both ways, adding some more spices, and cooking it with potatoes and other veges, ohh man it was good) because once the game was working, she knew what she was doing the rest of the evening. I have never seen such a hot girl play a game like that. I think it is adorable. Occasionally she would come over and give me a kiss while her little guys were in auto fight mode or something. Hey, if she's happy, I'm happy and I just love those little smiles on her face when something goes her way.

-TN

Sunday 9-24-2006

Sunday morning Eva and I enjoyed a relaxing breakfast. She went out for a run while I did some work on our computers. I backed up all our important info in preparation to migrate to the new computer (thanks again Jairo) and also migrated the blog from the old blogger to blogger beta. The blog is now on a server that is currently being supported and it should be much easier to get photos up. Before, I could only put photos up between like 10 and 11 at night and even then it took a long time and was iffy. Now I just need to make sure to take my camera with me and try to get some interesting shots. If you see me, please feel free to pose.

After Eva indulged my computer needs, we decided to pay her a little attention and went wedding dress shopping. Now, let me tell you, this is no ordinary shopping outing. Eva and I thought we could just sort of walk into David's Bridal, check out a few dresses, maybe get one, and be on our way. Not the case. The experience was a little closer to purchasing a new car. I guess American women already know how this works but Eva and I were pretty clueless. On the weekend, you cannot just walk in, you need an appointment. We went a bit after 3pm and they were booked for the day. Luckily, they let us peruse the dresses and they said they might be able to squeeze us in if their 3:30 did not show. At 3:45 we were up and the process began. First, you meet with the receptionist and they give sort of an overview of the process and gather all the needed information about the wedding. Next, you meet your consultant who will be with you for the remainder of the session. While the consultant gathers your first few dress picks from the catalogue, you are tasked with finding "the" shoes. Next, you meet at one of the many showcasing areas complete with a wide range of mirrors, multiple seats for observers, a step/pedestal, and immediate access to your changing room. I just sort of sat back and enjoyed the show (also, I figured it was OK for me to see Eva in her wedding dress considering we are already married). The consultant brought an array of undergarments along with the dresses and once Eva had that petticoat on, she was ready to get started. Her top pick looked great on her but the only one they had was a few sizes too big so we went on to check out the others. They all looked really incredible and I actually got into it a bit and would try to make intelligent comments on the look or the fit or how she projected herself in it. She is such a beautiful women. I think she might have had some fun during the process as well. Those dimples were pretty much constant except when she was really focusing on the dress. All the dresses looked great on her but our favorite was still the first. We were going to do the alteration thing but then luckily Eva asked and they could order it in time (we do like to keep it exciting as it will be coming in 10 days before the wedding). Once we had the dress and shoes, you have to find "the" veil and of-course complete the look with the tiara. We decided to hold off on the tiara, for now, as it cost about half as much as the dress itself. On our way to David's, Eva and I were joking as to which would be more painful for me, dress shopping or an infusion. All in all, it was quite an experience and not painful at all.

After the wedding dress adventure, we met up with my parents and went out to Lucille's Southern BBQ for a nice dinner. We caught up on the various family happenings and ate very well. My father got a pork salad that was probably made from 2 heads of lettuce with about a pound of meat over the top. This was no ordinary salad (he had to employ the doggie bag). My father had played a similar role to myself by accompanying my mother during her search for a dress for the wedding, though, unfortunately, her quest continues (it did not sound as intense as what I went through). Everyone seems to be pretty excited about the wedding. I think that one of my favorite things to do is just enjoy a good meal with family and friends. Share some stories, share some laughs. It really does not get much better than that.

-TN

Saturday 9-23-2006

Just a little health update and then onto the day's activities. So far the chemo is going pretty well. I basically feel normal. My weight is pretty good, my appetite is good, no pain, I am sleeping less with the prednisone but have not gone crazy from sleep deprivation (like another patient I heard about), and my breathing is basically normal (I am just feel out of shape from lack of activity). From here I can only hope that the cancer responds to the chemo and it would be nice, though not necessary, if I continued to feel pretty normal during the process (though I am still mentally ready to feel as horrible as it takes to get through this).

Eva and I had an incredibly productive and wonderful day today. We finally got the wedding invitations out. I gathered a few of the final addresses, we did a final count, totally disregarded it, and dropped them into the mail. We may be a little overbooked in the chapel but we figured that all of our friends and family are such wonderful people that they would probably look forward to an opportunity to better get to know each other and squeeze in a bit. Worst case, it is a glass chapel, so there should still be some pretty good views from the outside.

Made a quick trip to the grocery store and the productivity continued as we dove into Eva's immigration paperwork. Each individual part of the process is really not that hard but the whole packet really starts to get a little involved. For her it ended up being like 7 different forms and each form has very specific instructions and requires about 5 different pieces of supporting evidence. Things ranging from copies of her birth certificate to immunization records to a copy of my 2005 tax return. We just plowed through each form, put it all together in a seemingly logical format, and sent it in. Let me tell you, it reminded me of a work day. I was as tired after those 4 hours as I was after a 10 hour day at Raytheon. It really felt good to have it done and in the mail. Hopefully it will go through smoothly.

To get in a bit of activity for the day, we cruised over to a park in Beverly Hills and kicked the soccer ball around a bit. Eva did not play much growing up but is such an athlete that she did just fine. Actually, her game progressed an amazing amount in quite a short period of time. We spent about 45 minutes kicking it back and forth and I was pretty satisfied with my amount of activity. Eva became really determined to improve her juggling so I just sort of sat and watched for the next hour as she just kept going. She is such a funny girl sometimes and I love her all the more for it. Her efforts payed off and before we left, she had juggled the ball 10 times (12 if you count a couple of brushes with her breasts). Her stamina and determination with the ball reminded me of when we go water skiing and she just keeps going and going. I think my dad and I would tire from driving the boat before she tires from wake boarding. She then ran the 3 miles home and I drove home and got started on dinner. Mmmm, bacon wrapped pork loin. By the end of dinner poor little Eva's leg has bruised up a bit from juggling the ball with her thigh. Such nice legs, how can they bruise so quickly? I just hope people don't think that I beat her.



After dinner we actually went out for a little dessert to celebrate the days accomplishments. Its pretty convenient when the bar is just around the corner. Yeah, LA is a little more lively than SP. We partook of the chocolate hazelnut "pizza" at 3rd Stop and even indulged and each had a beer. This was my first beer in over a month and it was pretty good (not spectacular, but pretty good). Eva has stopped drinking to help support me (not that we drank much before diagnosis anyways) and both of us could feel the alcohol after about half a beer. It was quite a scene at the bar and we really enjoyed the people watching. Bars are mellower places when you are married than when you are single and it was really hilarious to just watch the various maneuvers guys where pulling in their efforts to score. The girls are just as guilty though usually their goals are different (though not always) and their moves/actions are often more subtle. We can only hope that amongst the mojitos, MGDs, garlic fries, and outrageous fashion, a couple of young kids found something special that night. Anyways, it was just a really fun evening after a very productive day.

Live Strong,
TN

Friday 9-22-06

Well, Friday morning I was in San Pedro and got up and went for a walk with my mom. It was really nice down by the cliffs and it felt good to move around a bit. We chatted about all the recent events and even gossiped a bit. This was another instance, which like eagerly visiting my wife for lunch, had a definite house husband flavor. I am finding that the house husband life is not so bad. Lets get Eva her MBA asap so that maybe we can keep this going after the disease. For all you work people, don't worry I wouldn't really be able to live with myself as a house husband at 25. Plus if you keep me on the prednisone, I wouldn't be surprised if I were able to go on 4 hours of sleep each night and work 75 hours a week.

I spent most of the day taking care of random things in SP. Computer stuff, feeding myself,etc. and then went out to Seal Beach to visit my Grandmother. She has been recovering from a little diverticulitis/ abscess and is doing really well. She has plenty of strength to complain so I know that she is going to be just fine. She doesn't really complain that much, it has just been a little hard trying to build up her confidence to do the things she did before the hospital stay. Understandably, she was a little weak after the hospital stay and the strength has been slow to return. The family has been joking that we were competing for attention over the last few weeks. Hopefully this has gotten her the notice she was looking for and hopefully next time she can call from her house instead of the hospital if she wants some company. I give her a hard time but really my Grandmother and I really are kindred spirits (literally and figuratively) and are very close.

Apparently, we have something of a little celebrity in the extended family right now. I spoke to my great aunt Zel (my grandmother's sister) on Friday evening and got the scoop. It all started with some chickens. Zel's daughter Betty and her husband David live outside of Portland and had some neighbors with a small chicken coop and about 5 birds. They moved out and the new neighbor, I guess in an effort to take full advantage of everything on the property, decided that 20 chickens would be fine in the same coop. He also decided to add a rooster. Because the coop was pretty packed, or maybe because the ladies just wouldn't have him, the rooster seems to reside in the tree outside David's window. I do not know much about roosters but this guy reportedly does not limit his crowing to the break of dawn. I guess he is maybe just anticipating dawn and so he ends up just crowing all night, much to the chagrin of the humans next door. David has recorded the rooster and repeatedly called the animal authorities as well as the police. He is also anxiously awaiting the day that the rooster falls out of the tree onto his side of the yard (just think Rocky with an older gentleman and a shovel). Well we do live in a democracy, and when all else fails, its time to go to the city council. He made his case, played the tape, and was even interviewed by the local news team who was on the scene (for another story, I would hope). I guess that the segment ended up making the cut and he was all over the airwaves that night. The next day, people from her retirement home would come up to Zel and mention that they had seen her son-in-law on the news the night before. My favorite recount was of the retirement home bus driver flapping his arms a la the chicken dance as Zel was walking up to the bus. Nothing like a little local color story to liven up the nightly news. I think the buzz has died down a bit but it was certainly an exciting little run. No word yet on the final fate of the rooster. I am guessing his days are numbered.

-TN

Thursday 9-21-2006

Well, I set a personal record. I used the bathroom 6 times during the night. I am getting very good at getting around the apartment with my eyes closed. I am wondering if I can take it to the next level and teach myself how to get up, go use the bathroom, and get back to bed while still asleep. Just for kicks, I weighed myself before I went to bed and then the next morning and went from 171 (really hydrated, sweet) down to 164. I felt pretty good all day. A touch of nausea and a little heartburn but generally pretty normal. You know, if the doctors hadn't told me differently, I would consider myself a pretty healthy individual. This disease is still just so weird in that it is one of the worst (hardest to treat) kinds of cancer you can get and yet here I am basically symptom free and feeling pretty normal. I guess if I had not found out about it I probably would have just kept living my life until it had truly overwhelmed my body. Though the cyst is large and the tumor has metastasized I still feel like we caught it fairly early. I feel extremely lucky to be going through this fairly symptom free and feeling relatively normal.

My father came and picked me up at the apartment and then we went down and met a few people from work. We had lunch with Jairo, Ko, Mike Woo, and Robin and it was really nice. It was great to catch up with them and they all seem to be doing really well. My father got to put a face on a few of the names he has heard about over the last couple years. It is really good for me to stay in touch with normal life and it just continues define some of the basic goals I have for myself right now. The first goal is of-course to beat the cancer. Goal number two is essentially to return to normal life. I cannot tell you how amazing it would feel to just get up and go to work, come home to my wife, and maybe complain over dinner that the SEM was down or hear her complain that somebody looked at her funny on the street. I have never had the desire for trivial cares as I do now. I imagine that after we vented, we would just smile at each other, pause, and think back to what we have been through.

Big thanks to Jairo for the computer. Just don't take no for an answer at the surplus sale. Your the man!

After lunch, the pops and I went down to SP and I set-up the Tivo that I gotten for them. My parents have just been incredible throughout this whole thing so as a small token of my gratitude I am hoping to improve the way they watch TV. My mom was very excited - especially later in the evening, as she was fast forwarding through commercials and pausing the show so that we could talk.

My father and I went for a walk around the block, chatted with some neighbors, and then cruised over to Long Beach in the evening to meet an old friend at the driving range. We met up with Aaron Durham and his wife Allison and hit some balls. Aaron and I had ran together in high school and the Durhams were basically like a second family to me. It was really fun. I was not sure if I could even swing a club, as my surgery basically severed about half the muscles needed to hit a ball but it went pretty well. No pain in my abs and after shanking and topping a number of balls, I actually had a few pretty nice shots. Aaron and Allison were very good (Aaron has come a long way from our first trips to the range) and my father had a few nice ones, too. It was really great catching up with them and I am thinking that I may be ready to head out to some of the par 3 courses in LB. We grabbed some dinner and heard a few stories about Aaron's early teaching experiences. He taught 2nd grade last year and is teaching 5th grade this year. He particularly liked the reduction in tears found in the older kids and seems to be doing a great job of molding our future generations.

Here is a pic taken at the range with Allison and Aaron. What a nice looking couple.

That's it for now. Live Strong.
-TN

Wednesday 9-20-2006

The day after infusion went pretty well. At this point I just do not know what to expect so I have been just sort of monitoring how I am feeling and trying to pay close attention to my body. Some patients have said the day after or two days after are the tough ones but so far so good. We will see how it goes as treatment continues. Eva has been really wonderful, too as she keeps a close eye on me and really notices any sort of change in disposition. Just the little rundown, the breathing is slowly improving, some slight nausea but nothing major and it did not really prevent me from eating, energy is decent but a flight of stairs will still take it out of me, and I was still super hydrated as I was up around 165. I used the bathroom 5 times during the night. I guess using the toilet like an old man is a small inconvenience I will go through to save my kidneys.

I did some computer stuff in the morning and then my buddy Steve came up to the apartment. We hung out with Eva on her lunch break and then we grabbed burritos and went up to Franklin Canyon Reservoir. We ate at lakeside and it was just a really beautiful location and afternoon. My big physical activity for the day was a walk around the reservoir (it is pretty tiny) where we had a few interesting encounters. We did see some very pretty ducks and we got Steve doing a tribute to the crocodiles hunter next to a dead fish but the most bizarre episode of the afternoon involved a particularly perplexing animal apparently of the human variety. I am not really presenting this in a fair manner because I am skewed by how the whole encounter went but it definitely provided a bit of amusement for Steve and myself. Anyways, Steve and I were walking around the lake and I wanted to get a shot of both of us. There were some picnic tables that I could use, I set up the shot with my little tripod, and took the photo. There was a very normal looking woman who was sitting fairly close to the picnic tables, apparently there to just enjoy the lake, who kind of asked what we were doing. I showed her the photos we just took and then she seemed to be really fascinated by the camera so I asked if she would take a few more of us. I think this was the first time she had ever seen a digital camera. She took some photos, gave back the camera, and then launched into what seemed to be a never ending monologue. It began with "Well, I came down here to cry but then I got here and I just couldn't cry", then went into "I was doing make-up for celebrities, and I did meet a lot of stars, and I liked them as people but then I had bad feelings towards them and it was like I just wanted what they had which was money", and another gem was "I really don't like working for anyone, I don't handle bosses well, I am sort of a team player which is why I think I would be good as a fisherman." Intermixed with these comments were references to pearls of wisdom that she had seen that day on the Rosie O'Donnell Show or Morey or whatever. She also said that because she was probably a native american in a previous live she felt she was really intuned with peoples feelings in situations though I don't think she had a clue about what Steve and I were feeling after hearing that first line. Steve and I nodded and listened for about 15 minutes until I think I just said something like "Well I guess you just need to figure out what your going to do" and started slowly walking away. Steve commented later that he was amazed at my facial expression the whole time. Unknowingly I guess I had a very interested face that seemed to say "please continue I am genuinely interested." In my head I wanted to just shake the woman and say "Look lady, I have pancreatic cancer and am in a fight for my life. I don't have time to sit here and listen to a 45 year old woman try to find meaning in her life. Just shut up and go do something." All in all, it definitely made the walk a memorable one. Hopefully she finds her way.

Eva and I had a really nice evening hanging out with Steve at the apartment and I just wanted to give props to Eva as the cribbage champion of the night.

-TN

9-19-06

Well today was infusion day number 2. Aside from being tired and having a touch of nausea the first infusion went really well. I still felt pretty good during the morning before the infusion and was curious as to how the Cisplatin would affect me. A key part of preventing permanent kidney damage when receiving Cisplatin was to make sure that I was hydrated so I tried to drink as much as I could before and after the infusion. They also insure that you are hydrated by infusing a couple liters of saline solution into you before giving you the actual chemo. The infusion itself went pretty well. Pretty typical and I actually did not feel as tired afterwards as usual.

I got to meet a couple of fellow pancreatic cancer patients while I was getting infused and chatted with them. One was very enjoyable the other not so much. The guy I spoke to just did not seem to understand where he was or who he was talking to. Maybe he did not see the "Oncologist" title below Dr. Isacoff's name. I mean he was very nice and pretty chatty but at one point when he was describing his case he said "man I was lucky to get it in the head of my pancreas. If you get it in the body (of the pancreas), your done for." My jaw dropped and I just responded something to the effect of "Uhh, not necessarily. I don't consider myself done for. " The other patient's daughter chimed in and also defended our right to survival. What he meant was that typically when the cancer is in the head it causes some symptoms and is usually caught early enough to be surgically resected. When the cancer is in the body, often it grows unnoticed and symptom free, gets to a much later stage and is very hard to treat. This guy also made it sound like he was on easy street. All he has to do is go through 3 months of chemo, then he is scheduled for a whipple, and then he should be good to go. News flash buddy, a lot can happen in 3 months, treatment can go well or poorly, and frankly, from what I have read on the whipple, the procedure looks like some sort of deranged reorganization of your digestive track performed by a plumber on crack. I wish the guy the best of luck and truly hope he beats it but I also hope he gains a little better awareness of the possible circumstances of the people that are right there with him. He was lucky Eva was not in the room, otherwise the cancer may have been the easy adversary.

The other patient was truly inspiring. I mostly spoke to her daughter, as she slept though most of her infusion but her story was pretty amazing. She had been a candidate for a whipple though when they opened her up, they saw a few metastases in the abdominal walls and could really do nothing for her. Imagine going into a major surgery and thinking that you would be coming out cancer free only to hear as you are recovering that there were other sites of cancer and they could do nothing for you at that point. From there she began systemic treatment (chemo) and has been doing really well. She has been on chemo for 1 year and 8 months and has been able to lead a fairly normal life. It seems that the cancer has pretty much been controlled and her markers have gone way down but it seems uncertain what the next step will be. What was particularly helpful to me was going over some of the wierder side effects and just knowing that others have experienced just what I am going through. Eva describes my eating habits like a 4 year old, their description was like a pregnant woman. She also told me about some of the things that may happen with Cisplatin. One interesting one is the possibility that my nerve endings may sort of reverse so that hot feels cold and visa-versa. I can't wait for that one.

Anyways, here is a pic of me and Sony as I am getting infused. That dog is pretty adorable. Also, check out the checks. I think the prednisone is adding a little character to the face. Final stat, my weight in the morning was 159.8, after super hydrating at night it was 168.4. That's a lot of fluids.

9-18-06

Well, Eva and I got Tom and Chris to the airport in the morning and then went straight to my infusion. This was the first time that I had an infusion in the morning and we were interested in how the day would go after that. Again just over 162 and feeling pretty good. Somehow I always feel good going into Dr. Isacoff's office. It is always very calming.

So it looks like the Taxotere was a little harsh on my lungs and I did have some lung toxicity problems with it. So we have switched up the chemo regimen a bit. Everything seems to be pretty fluid but it looks like I am going to go onto a 2 day of infusions one week and then get one week off schedule. I will get Gemzar and Irinotecan on the first day (and sometimes erbitux, though I did not get it on today). Then on day 2 I will get Cisplatin . I will stay on the Xeloda (modified 5FU in pill form) during the whole time though I need to clear that up with the doctor. Everything seems to be going well and I am definitely OK with switching the regimen around though I am a bit surprised that it sort of happened so fast. I was kind of expecting to be on the GTX with Erbitux thing for at least a few months before we would even consider trying something new. The lung toxicity issue seems to have been the deciding factor. Taking the taxotere out should keep me in better shape. The approach that Dr. Isacoff takes, though a touch erratic at times, really just continues to lead me to believe that I am getting the best possible care around. As soon as an issue pops up, we deal with it. Any sort of little problem is attended to before it can get out of hand. This seems like that approach is going to be the key to getting through this. It would be nice if he spelled the plan out a little more thoroughly but that is understandably hard if the plan is as dynamic as it has been.

Anyways, I got my pre-meds, the Gemzar, and the Irinotecan and was out of the office earlier than expected. I did pretty well during the day. Eva and I stopped for some food and watched a movie back at the apartment. I spoke to a few people from work in the afternoon and it was really nice to catch up with them. At night I sort of crashed for while then did some computer stuff. So far so good, no vomiting, no diarrhea, and I ate some though not as much as I would have liked. Better to go a little light on infusion days.
-TN

9-17-2006 Part 2

After the Getty, I got hungry again so we found a little burger spot in Malibu and made a stop. Nothing like a burger, fries, and a root beer float for an afternoon snack to boost that calorie intake. The maturity continued as Eva noted that Tom was not really hungry though continued to try to eat as much of Coffee's and John's root beer floats as possible. On our way back down the coast we found a nice little stretch of beach and pulled out. There was some debate as to the quality of the body surfing to be had but once the guys got into the water they did just fine.

They took the body surfing up a notch and started trying to ride each other. When Coffee said he was slippery Tom assumed that was the OK to dig his nails into his back to make sure he got a better ride. Chris looks like he will pull through.

As usual I tried to steer clear of the wrestling and other debacles though I do enjoy watching. Poor John, always the victim, though often the instigator as well.

We cruised back down to SP and partook of pizza and garlic bread (thanks again pops) and recounted our day. After dinner we managed to rope the guys into some wedding invitation preparation that actually went very well. I was a little worried but when we found the right task for the right guy things seemed to work out. I was the envelope sealer and though I do get plenty of toxins infused directly into my body, I opted for a sponge to wet the adhesive.

Again, it was really a wonderful weekend. Having old friends around certainly took my mind of my cancer and is just really good medicine for the soul. Obviously, I am still doing really well. The breathing is getting better slowly. I did have to keep the activity pretty low key and take breaks when I needed them. I think I took 4 breaks on the walk back up from the tide pools but then again it is nice to just sit and look around for a few minutes here and there. My weight is still pretty stable right around 160lbs and I am ready to go in for another infusion on Monday.

9-17-06 Part 1

Sunday was an incredible day. The guys were still around it was just really wonderful. My father continued to outdo himself and fixed us some great breakfast burritos which we enjoyed on the patio. My parents just really took care of us this weekend and I truly appreciate everything they do. Props Mom and Dad!

After breakfast the guys (John, Tom, and Chris), Eva, and I headed up to the Getty Villa in Malibu. I had gotten tickets for that day after an ill-fated same day trip with Eva failed 2 weeks prior. As expected, it was an amazing time. The grounds were very well done, the collections were very interesting, and just being at a place like the Getty feels good. Chris really added to the trip by pointing out a number of the subtle architectural features which really set a place like the Getty apart. John and Chris really appreciate comfort and decided it would be pleasant enjoy the grounds in the shade. Unfortunately upon entering the collections a stern docent made them leave their umbrellas outside where a couple other patrons helped themselves to their own servings of shade. After about 10 minutes of enjoying the incredible works of art, I realized that I had not eaten in about 3 hours so I rounded up the group and we had a bit of lunch at the cafe. It has been pretty fun going big on food. I mean, why not order the tri-tip for lunch? Delicious. Eventually we made our way to the central garden, the courtyard which contained which is at the heart of the Mediterranean villa.

Eva got a call from over seas and what better way to enjoy some conversation than by lounging in the garden. Just in case you had any question about the maturity level of the group, just note how well we handle the body in its natural state. My father recounted something similar on one of my scouting trips when I was about 8.

All in all, it was good times at the Getty.

9-16-2006 Video highlights

In case the photo highlights did not fully capture the excitement of the tidepools, here is a video that hopefully communicates the experience. John and Chris like to live on the edge and luckily, they have not been washed off the edge yet (for the mothers... no one got hurt.)

9-16-2006 photo highlights

I have been having some trouble with the photo insertion on the blogger website but I wanted to include just a few highlights from Saturday.

The first is the wading out to the tide pools (at low tide you can keep your feet dry getting out there). John made it out barefoot, the rest of us figured our shoes could use a good washing anyways.

Once we were out, the real excitement began as John and Coffee defied mother nature and ventured further out onto the rocks. Check out the grip Chris has on John. I can't believe I had any doubts as to whether or not the guys would like the tide pools.

Once we got back safely, my father wanted to get the night started off right so he fixed up some Bloody Mary's. This may have seemed to be one of many confirmations that my father is a good host but in reality it was just an attempt to use one of the cans of tomato juice that my grandmotehr gives him (which she gets from the government). I think she would rather see her grandson's friends drunk than waste that tomato juice.

9-16-06

First day of the weekend and quite a busy one. The weight was decent on the scales as I was about 161 lbs. Felt pretty good all day though the breathing was a little rough in the afternoon. Had a wonderful breakfast with the family and Jeff and Michelle. My father went big and we enjoyed french toast, bacon, potatoes, and a lovely assortment of fruit (I tried to steer clear of the empty vitamins). Beautiful morning on the patio. Eva always smiles when I comment that it is a really nice day. It happens so often in southern California but everytime I say it she says I sound surprised and pleased.

After breakfast, Eva and I went to Wayfarer's Chapel for our wedding planning meeting and minister's meeting. We have been sort of taking a casual attitude towards the wedding as we are already married but it seems like everything should come together. I guess it always works out one way or another. I feel extremely lucky that Eva is as practical a girl as she is. We mused that some American brides probably spend more time selecting flowers than we will spend planning the entire wedding. Other brides probably spend more money on flowers than we will spend on the entire wedding. To each his own. The minister was a very nice and interesting man. Much more progressive than I was expecting the minister to be. He was actually pretty analytical in his approach towards life and spirituality which was something of a refreshing look at religion. Something I found interesting was that he started his academic career as a mechanical engineer at Cal tech and actually had Linus Pauling teach a couple of his classes.

A few college friends had come down for the weekend and we met up after the chapel meetings. Tom and Coffee flew down from the bay area and John Burke drove up from San Diego. Of course Tom and Coffee picked flights that arrived during the few hours I couldn't pick them up but luckily John came through. How John made the trip up from SD in less than 5 hours this time I do not know. They did the beach, burrito, ice cream thing in Manhattan beach while Eva and I were busy and then we caught up a bit at the house. I convinced them I needed a bit of activity so we decided to take a walk down to the tide pools. We did not really check the tides before we left but it looked a little high when we got down there. After a couple minutes of debate, we decided to wade out through the shallows to the tide pools beyond. It was quite beautiful out there and we did see some sea life but draw seemed to be to see how far John and Coffee could go out on the rocks without getting swept away. John really did no take much convincing as the usual request was phrased something like "Hey John,I bet you can't make it all the way out there." Somehow Eva had predicted excitement upon our departure from the house, though I did not know I was going to enjoy it that much. We started to realize the tide was continuing to come in at about the time the lifeguards informed us of that very fact and waded back to dry land.

My father came through once again with an incredible BBQ dinner. Tri-tip, chicken quesidillas, vege quesidillas, fruit, bread, the works. Nothing like eating outside on a warm summer night. Various stories were exchanged and much to Coffee's dismay we all gathered round for a Phase 10 showdown. Eva and my father turned in early (probably not pleased by the progression of the game). Somehow John ended up getting wild cards in nearly every hand dealt. One time he went out with 4 wild cards. How were the rest of us supposed to compete with that. Tom figured his luck would eventually change and we continued through nearly al the phases still in amazement of John's card receiving ability. I came close to taking him down but he continued to phase out before me. In one final desperate attempt, we made up a final phase of 5 pairs. Tom dealt the cards, turned the top card so that John could begin play, of which a wild was revealed, and wouldn't you know, that wild enabled John to make the made-up phase in a single turn and even give a little "screw-you" to Tom as his discard card was a skip directed at Tom. We could not believe it and went to bed bitter (OK, not that bitter just disalusioned).

Live strong.
TN

9-15-06

Felt pretty good during the day. Again, I was a little light at 159lbs. I think that at this point I am probably losing weight due to lack of activity. I need to slowly start using my muscles again and that will probably give the biggest weight gains. Oh-well, I guess I will try to pack away the calories today as well. Breathing is still just about 80% and I did notice during the day that I would get winded pretty quick. Not as quick as last week but still. Anyways, I mostly just took care of stuff around the apartment during the day. Eva came home for lunch and we enjoyed watching "The Price is Right" together. The show has become one of my indulgences during the day and I think I have gotten Eva really excited about going to a taping sometime soon. She really wants to go but for some reason does not want to get picked. So, what is going to happen? She obviously is going to get picked. Right now we are sort of going through a "Price is Right" training program and making sure she is familiar with all the games and hones her sense of bidding. She is coming along quite nicely.

My cousin, Jeff, and his wife, Michelle, came down in the afternoon and we went out to dinner with them in the evening. My father chose the "Chowder Barge" for dinner so that he had an excuse to take the boat out (you can boat right up to the restaurant and dock. In fact we have only ever gotten there by boat - something that will become obvious very soon). Eva and I were coming down from the apartment in LA and I thought that I had timed it so that we would be able to go to the boat launch, hop on, and be off to dinner. Due to a little miscommunication, my father took off about a half hour before we were due to arrive and thought that we could just drive to the restaurant and meet them there. This seemed to be a good plan. How hard could it be to find this place? Eva and I spent over a half hour "exploring" the various marinas of Wilmington as well as the oil refineries, train yards, boat yards, and other interesting spots in the industrial heart of the port of Los Angeles. I was pretty sure I saw at least 2 mob bosses, probably doing unsavory deeds. Twice we ended up almost directly across the channel from the restaurant (mind you in two different locations and we had gotten to those spots in completely different ways). Eventually, by the grace of God, we somehow managed to find the tiny driveway that lead to the tiny marina that contains the "Chowder Barge." I vented a bit at my father and then Eva and I sat down and enjoyed a very nice meal with Jeff, Michelle, and my parents. Jeff and Michelle seem to be doing very well. They are taking care of their backyard, being subjected to tree inspectors and sprinkler inspectors and sort of just taking care of normal domestic stuff. Jeff seems to be enjoying working from home and they just look very happy together. The barge is actually a pretty cool place. A lot of salty characters at the bar. I always get the impression that they look at us and wonder why we would bring a family there. It has been improved but the barge does have a slight list which just adds to the character. The food is OK and I was pretty pleased with my deep fried scallops and chips.

Eva and I drove home without incident and the remainder of the party boated home. Every time I go home the mail seems to pile up so we tried to go through it. There were some interesting ones this time. A number of the medical bills are coming in and they are a bit of a bear to go through. Some are just explanations of benefits which say I owe 40 or 500 dollars. Others are actual bills with completely different amounts on them. We got the first bill from Dr. Isacoff's office, which we were expecting to be a pretty big one. It turns out that the patient only owes $8. The amount pending for insurance is roughly equivalent to the price of a new Mustang (with some options). We will see what happens. I think I will hold off on buying that new car until the dust clears.

The final highlight of the day was a glorious victory over my parents and Jeff and Michelle at Phase 10. My father and I traded skips and the lead the whole game. A lucky deal and draw at the end of the game had me go out before anyone else had laid down to clinch the win. Don't worry, I do not base my self worth on trivial little cards games, though I did enjoy winning (especially after the barge by land fiasco).

Take care and live strong.
TN

9-14-2006

Well just another day. I was a little light on the scale at 161.4 lbs. Breathing is pretty good though far from optimal. I did some somewhat productive work in the morning (putting together a notebook of my medical reports) and then met Eva for lunch at the Beverly center.

Eva is sitting here and I asked if she wanted to add anything to this post but she just made a funny face.

Later in the afternoon I got to play chauffeur and drive Eva to UCLA so that she could "SpeedVac" her samples. It sounded like an exciting outing so I was in. I got to meet her friend, Seema who was very nice and has helped Eva get access to the various resources she has needed at UCLA. After she finished up in the lab, we went and caught a movie in Westwood - "Invincible." We were slightly harassed upon entering the theater as some guy exhibiting cell phones from the 1980s yelled "You know he gets a spot on the team and the girl. Don't take your girlfriend there, she won't want to keep hanging out with you." To which I replied, "Uh, were already married. Looks like she is in for it." Eva and I actually picked the movie together and of-course everything works out - its a freaking Disney movie. We have sort-of been leaning towards the feel good, inspirational movies these days to make sure to keep me in the right state of mind. I decided not to pull the cancer card on that guy, though it was tempting.

We enjoyed the movie as it was everything we expected and then met up with Adam Shaffer afterwards for a bite to eat. Well, I ate, Eva and Adam sort-of kept me company. Adam is a great guy (and Adam, if you read this please take it in the best possible way). Once you get him talking he can just go and go and go. Eva and I would occasionally look at each other in amazement at the number of words that just came out of his mouth in such a short amount of time. In a way it reminds me of my Grandmother, sometimes you get her on the phone and she is just off and running. The conversation, though intense, was quite entertaining and it was really nice catching up with him. Eva and I wished him luck as he is taking a major step in his relationship and pretty much moving in with his girlfriend Tran. I wish them all the best and hopefully "Stank-ass" has left his nickname and smell back in the bay.

Live strong,
TN

9-13-06

Well, just another day. I felt pretty good today. Weighed 163.4 lbs. this morning. The weight is coming back! Sweet. Another 5-10 pounds and I will transition back from cookies and bacon to fish and fruits. Lost another good amount of hair today in the shower. It is pretty trippy when you run your fingers through your hair about 5 times and each time come up with a handful of hair. I still look pretty normal from the front but if you look down on the top it is starting to get a little thin. We will see how long I go before I just shave it all off. I was joking with Eva today that she thought she married a young handsome man but, soon she will be with a fat bald guy. I am so glad I got her while I could. I am hoping to be acne ridden as well. She is quite a lucky girl. The prednisone seems to be helping with the breathing. I am still probably only 80-85% on breathing capacity and my energy is still pretty low but it is much better than last week.

Went to an Angel game last night with Eva and the folks. Great game and just a wonderful time. The game went into extra innings and the Angels pulled it off in the 11th. The seats were pretty close to the action and I think that Eva might have even had a slight interest in the game (though she still makes the usual comments like when a heftier relief pitcher came onto the field "that is a professional athlete?") . My parents indulged in the frozen yogurt and then proceeded to show their Angel support with their own versions of the rally caps.

Had a little car trouble on the way. I am supposed to be keeping my life low stress but I still managed to get the car into the spot driving through stop and go traffic while the car would not idle. I only had to pop the clutch about 8 times and restart it 2 or 3 times. The three passengers had a lot of helpful advice which I really think helped get me through that rough time. We instated a policy of silence until we were on the freeway on the way home. My wonderful father took the car in today and one hose later everything is fine. Eva and I had a wonderful lunch with Isette today in westwood. She is off to New York tomorrow on the first vacation during her job transition time. It is always wonderful to see her and she has been such a wonderful friend throughout all this. Always so positive. That's about it for now. Still just starting this blogging thing. We will see what works and what doesn't. Carpe vitam and live strong. -TN

Test run

Just sortof trying this out. Thought it might be a good way to keep people updated on my progress.

Also using this post as a holder for my profile photo. This was taken about 30 minutes before I proposed to Eva on a lake in central park in NYC. I am one happy guy and am about to get a whole lot happier (she said yes).

TN