April 23, 2012: Thinking of you on your birthday, little hubbily

You have the key to my inner story. You hear my songs and sing them with me... Thinking of you today, my love.



What an amazing man, what a handsome fellow, what a smile... A smile that brightened all of my days, no matter how dim and desperate situations appeared. It instilled comfort, and it was the best medicine for any ailment. I will never forget the moments where we would burst into laughter, usually over little things. You know, the little things that spring up during the course of a relationship and that are only understood and special to the two of you. I treasured these moments, as they would fill my heart with warmth as well as with a modest feeling of pride and inner satisfaction that I somehow, unintentionally, managed to trigger the right spots that would make Tyler laugh out loud. Many things were out of my control, but knowing that I made him happy in these moments, making us forget about the worries and uncertainties that were with us at all times, meant the world to me.

I miss that smile, and I miss that wonderful sound of his laughter.

These pictures were taken exactly one year ago. Looking at them, who would have ever thought that Tyler wouldn’t be with us today. It was his 30th birthday and in true Tyler fashion he rose above his disease to celebrate it with the due activities. (I was tempted to use the word “due respect”, but “activities” is clearly a better word to be used together with Tyler in the same sentence ;).

I had offered to organize the day, but he wouldn’t have any of that. He had a plan, and what a plan it was. He just told me to pack for any occasion- I had to chuckle, as I was very familiar with this expression of his. And I knew, that he wasn’t just making empty promises, but that he would fully come through on them. Many of you know the story, so I will only provide a summary of the events of that day:
When I stepped out of the apartment, there was a gorgeous Porsche waiting for me and in it was this handsome young man, wearing a baby-blue collared shirt and sexy jeans. He knew how much I liked baby blue one him… The dark hair, the green eyes- a perfect contrast against the light blue. He was such a considered husband and so very loving. Again, it’s the little things…
It turned out that Tyler had rented the Porsche for that day- fulfilling one of his dreams. The first stop was the Wildlife station in Irvine, where they take care of exotic animals that have been found, rescued, or taken away from their owners. The fun part of this tour was not so much to look at the various animals (clearly, the L.A. zoo has a leg up), but more to hear about the stories behind it. I think my favorite story came with the 4-foot lizard. Apparently, it had been the house pet of a lady, who treated this reptile like a dog. It was even allowed to sleep in the bed with her. When she was faced with financial hardship, she decided to apply for a roommate. And guess what, surprisingly, the roommate was not sharing any of her warm feelings for this cold-blooded animal. Frankly, a gecko is cute. A free-roaming 4-foot lizard? Not so much. The police ended up taking the lizard away. And there were more of these stories of similar nature. It was just a great idea and these memories will stay with me forever.
After the Wildlife habitat we were off to Universal Studios to go “sky-diving” in the glass tube. I first was worried that Tyler wouldn’t be able to do it as he had trouble walking and was wearing his braces. It was just amazing to see how well he did. I was so proud of him for so many reasons. You know how many people tend to give up on them and put a mental block up in their heads when faced with much smaller handicaps and negative life events than what Tyler had to deal with, preventing them from living life? Even in his impaired state, Tyler managed to find an exciting and thrilling experience that he could do. He wasn’t waiting for someone else to encourage him nor did he dwell in self-pity or let depression get the better of him. It just comes to show that there are so many fantastic opportunities in this world, one just has to be willing to open the eyes, continue to nurture the passion for life, and be grateful and appreciative for all that lies right in front of you. From all the people that I know, Tyler was able to see and feel these opportunities and the beauty that are abound in the world more than anyone else. Enjoying the little things in life is definitely one of the many things that I have learned from him, and that I will always be grateful for. Being able to experience joy in the most inconspicuous aspects of life can put a smile on your face, brighten up your day, and provide you with the positive energy to make it through a tough day. In a sense, when people ask me how I am doing and how I am coping, I think it's exactly this attitude that gets me through the day. Tyler would have given anything to be with us today, as his love for life was palpable and unending.




After the skydiving we drove down to Long Beach to meet up with Dennis and Yvonne for a boat tour through the Venice canals followed by a dinner at the Crab Pot. I remember as it was yesterday; the sunset was stunning and when we took the pictures of the four of us kicking back on the boat, the light lit up our faces with a golden hue, making our smiles glow. I had brought "funny" glasses to celebrate the occasion in true Venice Beach style. Dennis was literally blinded by his fashionable eye-wear, at times we were a bit worried that he wasn't quite sure where he was steering the boat toward. So for the sake of the safety of the passengers, he didn't wear them too long. Luckily, we got some decent shots of him. Of course, Tyler got the birthday-candle glasses, while Yvonne transformed into a bright sea star, and well, I opted for the laid-back chill out glasses. (In a way, I guess it was a good pick for me. 4 days before his passing, while I was "tornadoing" [Tyler's expression of me hovering] around him, he called me the cutest nickname: Tinkerbell on crack. I love it, own it, and proudly wear it. So if you ever happen to see it as a username, you now know who it is]. It was such a lovely evening, laughing and enjoying each others company, cherishing this precious moment of joy and beauty. What else can you ask for? My heart goes out to you, Dennis and Yvonne. There are no words capabable of soothing the loss of our loved Tyler. Fortunately, we share dear moments like these, that will forever remain vivid in our lives, bring us together, and lift our hearts. I am incredibly grateful for the two of you and for the love and care that you have and that you continue to so graciously show me.

I digress, back to the day: We didn’t have too much time to linger as Tyler had reserved a room in downtown L.A. at the Bonaventure Hotel. I couldn't but comment on the route that he had chosen that day. He really optimized the amount of road we covered in the Porsche that day. And boy can I tell you how much fun it was to drive into the sunset, feeling light and worry-free in his little race care. It was just wonderful to watch him truly enjoy his gadget for the day. At the hotel, I think Tyler got the biggest kick when the valet guy winked at him, saying: “Nice car, son.” He would refer to this moment as feeling a sense of pride that he was getting the respect from the valet guy. He was so cute. Thank you Tyler for an unforgettable day, that will remain etched into my mind.



Yes, these are boob-glasses with lace ;) It's okay, he's an Ob/Gyn. Have you seen the poster in the guest bathroom? This is harmless!




It is incredibly difficult to grasp that all this was only one year ago. There were so many instances where Tyler’s condition was precarious, but somehow, miraculously, he always bounced back- amazing us, as well as the physicians. I truly believed that this would go on for many more years. I believed that this incredibly strong heart of his would continue to beat and carry him forward as it had done so reliably throughout all these taxing times.

Remember when Dennis wrote in the obituary about the rich and full life that Tyler was living? I knew that we had a very active lifestyle and this sentiment is being underscored on a daily basis. Since Tyler’s passing, there hasn’t been a day where there hasn’t been a reminder- a place, an event, a show, a book, an article- that didn’t remind me somehow of a experience that we had shared together. Just the other day I had traveled for business to Croatia. While having dinner at this beautiful restaurant nestled within the little harbor village, we saw sail boats go by, the smell of the ocean breeze, the moisture in the air, the seagulls circling high above in the sky- reminding me of our many sail and boating trips to Catalina and Angel Island. Now that Spring is announcing itself and the first flowers are showing their pretty colors, reaching their petals out to the sun after a long and cold winter, I can’t but help to stop and admire, seeing Tyler’s smile in front of me. He loved smelling flowers… Or the squirrel that frisked by me the other day. It was orange with a big bushy tail, the most adorably plush adorned little ears, and the curious eyes that quickly graced me with attention before disappearing in the crown of the tree. Tyler and I had a thing for squirrels. Somehow, it had become our little invisible scoundrel. No worries, I dont' think we were crazy. Hmmm, maybe just a little- but in a cute way. If I couldn't find my keys, or if the remote control was misplaced, or if one of us happened to make digestive sounds, either of us would look up and say: Arrrrg, The squirrel- that little mischievous thingy! or "The Veverka (squirrel in Czech), again!" And then we would just laugh. It’s amazing how such events can trigger an instant replay of past memories. Tyler, you have given me one of the most precious gifts. Though you are not with us physically, I can feel your presence and see your smile everywhere in the world around me. It is remarkable to have flashbacks on a daily basis, eternalizing our shared memories and our live together.

Tyler, you are missed so dearly, especially today. I love you, and always will.




I'll never forget your bright smile and I can hear you laugh wherever I may be.


[...]"And at night you will look up at the stars. Where I live everything is so small that I cannot show you where my star is to be found. It is better, like that. My star will just be one of the stars, for you. And so you will love to watch all the stars in the heavens... they will all be your friends. And, besides, I am going to make you a present..."
He laughed again.
"Ah, little prince, dear little prince! I love to hear that laughter!"
"That is my present. Just that. It will be as it was when we drank the water..."
"What are you trying to say?"
"All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all these stars are silent. You-- you alone-- will have the stars as no one else has them--"
"What are you trying to say?"
"In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night... you-- only you-- will have stars that can laugh!"
And he laughed again.
"And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... and your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, 'Yes, the stars always make me laugh!' And they will think you are crazy. It will be a very shabby trick that I shall have played on you..."
And he laughed again.
"It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh..."
And he laughed again. [...]

The Little Prince

Memorial, speeches

Thank you all for coming to Tyler's Memorial last Saturday. Your presence meant a lot to Tyler's parents and I. Many of you asked for us to post the slideshow and the speeches:































Tom Allen's speech:

Thank you all for coming today. I know it would mean so much for Tyler that you
are here. Tyler knew he was loved, but he was so humble that he would never imagine that so many of you would be here. I am grateful to have the opportunity to speak about my dear friend. I have thought about this moment for a long time, and have struggled because it is impossible to put into words what Tyler meant to me. To help me, I want to read you a little from the eulogy that Ted Kennedy gave for his brother Robert.

"He gave us strength in time of trouble, wisdom in time of uncertainty, and sharing in time of happiness. He will always be by our side. Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, or trust, or joy. But he was all of these. He loved life completely and he lived it intensely. And What it really all adds up to is love -- not love as it is described with such facility in popular magazines, but the kind of love that is affection and respect, order and encouragement, and support. Our awareness of this was an incalculable source of strength, and because real love is something unselfish and involves sacrifice and giving, we could not help but profit from it."

We are joined here in our grief, but it is our love of Tyler and our happy memories of a wonderful man that brought us all here together. Tyler was many things to us. He was a son, a nephew, a husband, a friend, and an inspiration. He was known as "grinder" for those of us who were lucky enough to witness him on the dance floor. He was a restless dreamer, tough and never broken by this disease, who loved adventure, the ocean, this American life, slurpees, the simpsons, his Cutie, and all of us.

Dennis and Yvonne, we have all come here to celebrate Tyler’s life, the life you gave him. What you have had to go through is impossible for us to understand completely. but it is clear that Tyler got his fortitude, strength, and capacity to care for others from you. The child you raised so beautifully became a man who was loved and gave immense love in return.

Eva, your strength and love saw Tyler through this. He loved you more than I have ever seen a person love another. He loved you from the day you met him, when this shy young man decided to ask out the- in his words- "hottest woman he had ever seen." He tried to win you over by telling you about his "yacht." But like the rest of us, you were drawn in by his humor, his kindness, his cool hair, and his love of life. You brought him real joy, and as I'm sure you know, you were everything to him.

We do not need to idealize or enlarge Tyler in his death beyond what he was in life. For what Tyler was, every day of his life, before and after his diagnosis was the true embodiment of so many things that all of us strive to be. A dreamer, a believer, a teacher, a friend, a lover and a son.

Even in his pain, even while submitting to the tyranny of ventilators and chemotherapy,Tyler genuinely cared about the wellbeing of others. He was a legend in the hospital: doctors would pop in just to chat with their remarkable patient. He would ask every nurse “how’s your day going”; No matter what kind of problems they were having, everyone he came into contact with realized that here was a generous and courageous young man, in a situation that none of us could possibly imagine, caring how their lives were. I see a group of people who loved Tyler. And I can say with absolute certainty that each us feels immensely fortunate that he shared his life with us. He helped us grow. He showed us courage, integrity, and strength. We are the greater for knowing Tyler and we owe it to him to expand the ripple of love that he showed us, to pass it on to both the people we love and those that we barely know.

About a year and a half ago Tyler and I took a trip to Hawaii together. During that trip we talked about how he wanted to be remembered. A couple of days after the trip he wrote me the following: " I want my story to inspire people to be better than they are. To make people think bigger than they are. To realize that we all have the capacity to be incredible individuals, and that we can get there by dedicating ourselves to being our very best selves." A couple of minutes later I got another text from him. It read: "I think I need to start living it before I start preaching it."
And that is the extraordinary thing about this man. He was so humble that he never realized his own abilities and the impact that he had on others. He just lived his life the only way he knew how, and thought he was like everyone else.

In all my time with Tyler, one of the things that I never heard him say was "Why me?" He was never angry about his diagnosis, never blamed anyone or anything. But I've struggled a lot over the last five years with understanding how this unbelievable person got burdened with this disease. It just never made sense to me, and couldn't possibly be right. But over the last two weeks, in thinking about Tyler's life and speaking with his friends and family, I have developed a theory. I have seen countless examples of people who met Tyler and in a very short amount of time, he made their lives better and from a very young age he did the same with those who have known him longest and closest. I have seen him take the worry, the anger, the anxiety, and the pain out of other people's lives and out of my own life with his indomitable spirit. So in a certain sense I believe that Tyler took all these negative things from the lives of those who were lucky enough to know him and bottled it all into this tumor in his pancreas. And that was his gift to us. Over these last five and a half years he wasn’t just fighting for himself, he was fighting for all of us.

The final thing that I would like to share with you about Tyler today is this: There have been times during the last five and a half years, where I found myself being immensely sad because I couldn't remember what Tyler was like when he was healthy. Tyler fought for so long that I couldn't remember the soccer player, the runner, the sailor and the adventurer. But a video Eva took of him made me realize that I don't need to remember those times. For up until the night that he died, he was loving, playful, curious, full of life and joy, grateful for everything that he had, he wanted to impress his beautiful wife, and show his parents how much he loved them. So when you watch this video I want you toremember, and experience Tyler's immense spirit with me. Because His spirit never changed.

Because I know he would want it no other way, please join me as I raise my slurpee for this man we all loved so much.

In Tyler's simple words: dude, its been awesome. I'm going to miss my friend, his laugh, his kindness, his wisdom and the adventures that we shared. I love you Tyler.




A Best Friend and a Brother
From Tiana Kahakauwila
Tyler and I met when I was eleven and he was twelve, at the end of sixth grade at Hughes Middle School. By ninth grade we were best friends. Together we weathered teenage heartache and triumph; we told each other our hopes for the future.
Perhaps it’s because we were both only children--and because we loved being only children—we made our friendship into a sibling relationship. We used to joke that we hated to share stuff. So having each other was the best of both worlds: We had a partner in crime but we got to keep our parents to ourselves. And like siblings, we could be competitive; we were at times brutal with our teasing. But we laughed a lot—all the time, really—and we trusted each other completely. We were also wholly honest with each other; no secrets existed between us, no doubts that weren’t admitted to, no dreams that weren’t confided.
Tyler was a huge dreamer, and he was an expert at living—long before he was diagnosed. He was a man of activity: He played the saxophone, ran, water-skied, sailed, surfed, played soccer. There wasn’t a sport he didn’t do, do well, and couldn’t talk you into trying. How many people did he teach to water-ski? Or convince to go sailing? Or zoom through city streets with in his dad’s blue Miata? Being with him was being with endless adventure. Once, in college, we started talking about how in Long Beach you can see the snow-covered mountains of San Bernadino at the same time you’re enjoying the beach. And next thing I knew, Tyler had Steve Scott and I caught up in one of his grand schemes: water-skiing in the morning and then snow-skiing in the afternoon. And somewhere in there we’d get the boat back to its slip; we’d rent skis. We’d make the two hour drive. Oh, we’d be fine; we just had to go.
Years later, when he was dating Eva, he convinced her to hike the Bridge to Nowhere, a 10-mile bush-wacking trek. Then, he said, they were going to rinse off, speed by the Fashion District in L.A. to buy her a dress, and go to the Mark Taper Forum for an evening of theater. Afterwards, they’d have an intimate dinner. And did she have anything planned for tomorrow? Because the next day they could…
Tyler needed the wide group of diverse friends he had. He needed them because he was exhausting!
When I lived in New York City he used to stop-over for a couple of days before he headed to Switzerland to see Eva. I’d get off from work and he’d be waiting outside, leaning James Dean-like against a building. Had I ever been to the top of the Empire State Building? Was the ice-skating rink open in Central Park? Did I want to try and climb on top of the bull statue on Wall Street? And then it was off to dinner—and didn’t we have friends to call? And why weren’t they up at 2am? And were we still running at 6am in the morning because he had to get to the Met when they opened… To me, the best part was that after three exhausting-thrilling-wonderful days—after which I needed four days of sleep to recover—he was off to whirlwind Eva!
In addition to being thrilling, Tyler was unbelievably charming. But it was never about him. He wasn’t charming to get attention. Rather, he was lavish with his attention. He was every nurse’s favorite; he always asked them how their day was, how they were doing. And it wasn’t just polite chit-chat. He really wanted to know, and he remembered what they said. He was like that with everyone. He had a way of positioning himself as a listener in the conversation. He asked questions. He wanted to know about you.
And there wasn’t a person about whom he couldn’t find something fascinating or intriguing. Every woman was beautiful: whether it was her eyes or confidence or elbows, he found something. And every man had the potential to be a great friend. Tyler saw humans in the best light.
As a friend, this was one of his most heart-breakingly beautiful offerings. He always saw your potential, the possibility for what you could be, while still loving you just as you were. And you responded: You wanted to be as good as he saw you, as he was.
As I said before, Tyler was an expert at living, but he saw himself as a student of life. Most of us, however, look to him as a teacher. He was, and is, a model for living. By the way he lived, and loved, he showed us how to live well and love fully. Sometimes, when I have a decision to make, I ask myself: “What would Tyler do?” How would he dive into this opportunity? How would he handle this fear? What kindness would he offer in this situation?
Tyler had long been concerned that I, as a writer, might fail to get out into the world. Years ago he told me he feared I would hole up in an attic somewhere and commit words to a page and never see the sun rise or set. I wouldn’t DO. I wouldn’t LIVE. I wouldn’t take some risks. He told me all this long before he was diagnosed. And I promised him I wouldn’t miss out on life and its adventures—and that I knew he wouldn’t let me.
This Christmas Tyler and I laughed a lot. I listened as Tyler and Eva shared the stories of how they met, fell in love, courted over years and countries and an ocean—Stories I know well and love. Stories I could hear a hundred times more, watching the two of them together. And Tyler and I were able to recount many of our best memories together, stories from more than 18 years of friendship.
At the end of Christmas break, just before I flew back to Hawai`i, Tyler told me he was proud of how I was living my life. His approval, his pride, his benediction… Few people’s blessing have meant as much as his. And few people have known me as well as he. He wasn’t just a best friend; he was my brother in every way.
When I think of how to honor Tyler—how to keep making him proud—I think of living as he did, his entire life. We can donate blood and platelets and join PANCAN (at PANCAN.org) in their advocacy. We can approach life with endless hope and appreciation. We can find joy in each day, as he did until the very last. And we can love the people in our life fully, with complete appreciation for the gift of each of them. Certainly, Tyler was a gift to each of us.

Information for Saturday's Memorial

Dear Family and Friends,

SCRAPBOOK:
We were thinking of putting together a scrapbook following the Memorial on Saturday, capturing Tyler and his life through your eyes- as you knew him and as you had experienced him. Each of you will hold slightly different memories of Tyler and might have known him in a different phase of his life. We would love to capture these cherished moments for us to have as a remembrance of Tyler and his life.

We will provide scrapbook pages on Saturday and, if you are so inclined, will kindly ask you to share your favorite pictures, your fondest memories, any exciting adventures, funny stories- simply any thoughts that capture the essence of Tyler and that come to mind when you think back on Tyler.

If you have pictures that you would like to share, please bring printouts with you on Saturday.

OTHER:

1. Some of you have asked what to bring on Saturday. Basically, bring any dish that you would enjoy. More importantly though, if there is food left after the Memorial, we would like to encourage you to take home any of the leftovers. We have a hard time discarding food, which in turn, might leave the three of us with a daunting task- there is only so much running and yoga we can do.

2. Also, please bring jackets, as the gathering will take place inside as well as outside on the deck of the house. It does get chilly in the evenings, but then again, we might get lucky to be graced with a stunning sunset.

Memorial

Dear Family and Friends,

Unfortunately, this is not Tyler writing, but it is me, Eva- Tyler’s wife. I am addressing you all on his behalf.

After a five-and-a-half-year long and extraordinary battle against cancer- a battle against all odds and a fight in pursuit of life- Tyler passed away in the morning of Sunday, January the 8th 2012. He went peacefully, in his home, in his own bed, next to me- the way he had wished it to be.

Not so long ago, in the confides of one of our dearly cherished “Quality Hubbily (Tyler)-Wutzily (that’s me) Cuddle Times” he told me ‘how did I get so incredibly lucky to have such loving and wonderful parents, such amazing and loyal friends, and to be married to my soul mate and the love of my life, and how did I get so incredibly unlucky with this disease?’

He treasured every single one of you, and you truly have been wonderful throughout his life and especially throughout the past years. He had a unique ability to touch people in a very special way, the way only Tyler could. It was heartrending to experience how nurses and doctors who at one time or another had taken care of Tyler would rush to his bedside when they learned he was back at the hospital. They would check on him during or after their shifts, usually breaking into tears. Again, there was something magical about him- his kindness, his gratefulness, his spirit, his love for life, and his unending optimism (to just name a few) that inspired and touched the way only Tyler could. You probably all know what I am talking about.

No words could ever describe how incredibly fortunate I feel to have been part of his life and that he had a special place in his heart for me. His loss leaves behind a gaping void- a hurting reminder of his passing. Life for me, and the rest of us, will never be the same. Again, and as so often in the past, I turn to Tyler for help and remember what he had told me in the ICU. We were filling out the Advanced Directives, which was incredibly difficult to do, and he took my hand, looked me in the eyes and said that everything would be okay… I would be okay. When the time came for him to go, the very second, he would take place on my shoulder, he would be with me- wherever I would go, for the rest of my life. Though nothing could ever replace him and he most certainly went too soon, it gives me a little solace to know that he is with us and always will be.

To that end, we will be holding an ‘Open House’ in honor and loving memory of Tyler to come together as friends and family to share stories, memories, and support.

Date: Saturday, January 21, 2012
Where: Tyler’s parents’ house. 1901 West 35th Street, San Pedro, CA 90732
Time: 4 pm

Other 1: As Tyler and I enjoyed potluck style parties (we kept up the tradition from our wedding until this past New Year’s Eve celebration) we encourage you to bring something to share (not required though).

Other 2: Yvonne, Dennis, and I will leave for Hawaii tomorrow and won’t be back until Tuesday.

Other 3: If you are so moved please learn more about pancreatic cancer at pancan.org, donate blood and platelets at your local blood bank, hug your loved ones, and pray to experience a life as rich and full as Tyler’s.



Remembering Tyler, the love of my life, a wonderful son, a good friend to many


Tyler, early in December 2012- what a spirit he had...



Tyler on Christmas Day 2012 decorated with a bow- what a good sport he was...

You will be missed so much...

Official Obituary by Dennis, Dad

Tyler Mark Noesen
4/23/81 - 1/8/12

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.

Tyler Noesen died of pancreatic cancer after a 5 1/2 year battle. He died peacefully at home with his loving wife the morning of Sunday, January 8, 2012.

Tyler was raised in San Pedro and schooled in Long Beach. He attended South Shores Elementary, Longfellow Elementary, Hughes Middle School, and Poly High School. As a child he played baseball and basketball at Bogdonavich Park, roller hockey and indoor soccer at the Lakewood YMCA, and soccer with San Pedro AYSO and Long Beach United Soccer Club. He played the saxophone in the Poly band.

He surfed, scuba dived, water and snow skied. He loved Catalina. He was an Eagle Scout. Tyler ran cross country and track and was the 1998 Moore League individual cross country champion, but more important to him was that he contributed to three state high school championships. He was an International Ambassador at Poly.

UC Berkeley was his college, graduating in 2003 as a mechanical and materials science engineer. He ran in college, living in the “track house,” which was “like a fraternity, only dirtier.” Tyler spent one summer on a fishing boat in Alaska. He was employed by Raytheon Corporation for 10 years as an engineer in the DPA (Destructive Physical Analysis) department. Tyler was interested in national and international politics and his recent reading list and dream was to be a Foreign Service Officer.

Tyler met Eva, the love of his life, at Cal in 2002 (she was from Switzerland). They were kindred spirits: traveling, competing, and living life as an adventure. They married in 2006. Despite his profound disease, Tyler’s last years were full of fun, laughter, friends, travel and joy. He is survived by his wife Eva, his parents Dennis and Yvonne, and many uncles, aunts and cousins. Read more about Tyler at tnoesen.blogspot.com.

If you are so moved, please learn more about pancreatic cancer at pancan.org, donate blood or platelets at your local blood bank, hug your loved ones, and pray to experience a life as rich and full as Tyler’s.

Carpe Vitam and Live Strong

LA Cancer Challenge 2010

The LA Cancer Challenge 2010 was a huge success. Thank you so much to all the wonderful people who made it happen. Thanks to the front runners who lead Team Tyler to a 4th Straight 5K Team Championship. Thanks to everyone else who came out who made Team Tyler the force that it was. Seriously, everywhere you looked, you would see someone in a Team Tyler shirt. Thanks to everyone who supported us from afar. Your positive energy helped more than you will know. Thanks to everyone who gave money to fight pancreatic cancer. Your generosity was really touching. Finally, thanks to everyone who walked in the back with me. It sure did feel like a long 3.1 miles but I was stoked I made it and I owe so much of it to all of you keeping me company and chatting me up and really carrying me through it. A lot has happened since the last race - foot drop, AFOs, strength improvement, extensive neuropathy, walker, wheelchair, walker, gradual improvement, a couple minor surgeries, more strength, and finally a cane- and I really didn’t know if it was going to happen. You guys got me through. Well done.

As far as the team, we took home the 5K Team Title again and we had an amazing “official” 71 Team Tyler members and many more people actually on the course and supporting from home.

We raised over $8,000!! That is awesome and will certainly help pushing research forward. Particularly impressive considering the current economic climate.

And while those were no small feats, I think the highlight of the day for me was seeing so many old and new friends and getting to talk a bit with so many of you. It was a really fun day and I really treasure every fun day I get. I wish I could have spent the whole morning with each of you but there just are not enough hours in the day. Thank you for being incredible people.

One really sweet woman introduced herself after the race and said she had joined Team Tyler because she had come across my story on the Pancan website. She didn’t know any of us but it looked like she was just another one of the gang. Pretty cool.

Shannon came through fabulously with some awesome jerseys and Big Dennis and my dad made adorable kiddie Team Tyler shirts and some classics. Actually, I am pretty sure our edge was the few small children and dog that were a part of the team - essential ingredients for any feel good story. I think it is safe to say that we were the most stylish team out there.

I do have to apologize, though. I was a big idiot at the end of the race. After walking together for over an hour and a half, everyone was kind enough to let me go a step ahead as I crossed the line, after which, if I was a considerate individual, I would have turned around and thanked everyone for getting me through it. As it happened, I just kept walking, got my medal, posed for a quick pic, and then went straight back to my chair by the tree. Sorry about that. I was just stupid and tired and basically dreaming of my chair. Just know that I really did appreciate everyone one out there.

People who are better at sharing pictures than me have been sending me some wonderful shots and I have put them up in a mobile me gallery that you can directly add your photos to. Please upload your shots and feel free to download what ever pics you want to. I will try to keep a bit of order but I’m not always the most reliable. I am looking forward to your pics. Becky and Mike Sanders got us started out very nicely. Here is the link

http://gallery.me.com/tnoesen/100053

If pics are already in your email, you can just forward the email to
tnoesen-3zhq@post.me.com
and they will get added automatically.

One last little treat. Natan put together a video of the “race” which a lot of you are in. Well done Natan. Disclaimer: just know that I walk very slowly. It is just my speed right now. It was 7 minutes faster than last year and only 78 minutes off my PR. The video is up on his wall on facebook.


Again, great job everyone. Take Care and Live Strong.
Tyler









Well, its that time of the year again. LA Cancer Challenge and Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month are right around the corner. Sorry for the late heads up this year, as usual I have neglected the blog mostly due to me feeling pretty well and being really busy.

It is less than 2 weeks until the LA Cancer Challenge 5K/10K run on October 31st at the Veteran's grounds next to UCLA. The 10K starts at 7:30am and the 5K starts at 9:30am.

If you are free, please come out and join Team Tyler and support pancreatic cancer research.

We have taken the 5K Team Title the last 3 years and are looking for another. All ringers are welcome and any donations will be going to a very good cause (at least in my opinion, though I may be a little biased). Past donations have led to UCLA being designated as a comprehensive pancreatic cancer center and also funded a study performed by my endocrinologist which was published earlier this year. Pat yourselves on the back as your donations are helping us to make steps in the right direction.

Healthwise, I have been doing pretty well. I had a biopsy done in July where they could not find any malignant cells on the chunks they took. That was very encouraging though it by no means puts me in the clear. Less encouraging has been that my CA19-9 marker has slowly been going up. It is hard to say what all this means. I will probably be going for a scan soon which may clarify things a little more. I hope not, but I realize at some point I will probably have to go back onto chemo. Luckily, this long break has allowed my body to recover a lot. Some things have been coming back, like the nerves in my legs, while other things will probably never come back, like my kidneys. That is just how it is. I generally feel well and my energy is pretty good these days. Dialysis has been tolerable and the center has actually been pretty good experience this time, though I have found it hard to accomplish anything meaningful on Tuesdays, Thursdays, or Saturdays. I just cannot think like I would like to during treatment and often feel very wasted after treatment. To try to address this, and get back 3 days of my week, I have been transitioning to Peritoneal Dialysis over the last few weeks. Instead of your blood leaving you body, going through the artificial kidney and returning like Hemo-dialysis, Peritoneal dialysis is performed by putting fluid into your peritoneal lining (the sac that holds your guts), letting it sit there for a while, drain it, and repeat. The peritoneum has enough little blood vessels that can act as a membrane similar to a kidney and a little sugar water draws the fluid and toxins out of you and makes it all happen. After some training and trial runs, I switched last Wednesday. So far so good though there are always a few kinks to work out and it takes a little getting used to to have an extra 2 liters in your belly all the time. What sold me was the mindset that the two modalities operate under. With hemo, you are told to be in your chair at your time every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday and you spend a lot of you time there. With peritoneal, the nurse (a great guy named Joe) asked me what I would like to do during my day and week and then he tried to come up wit a schedule that would work around that. What a concept! We will run some tests in a couple weeks to see if this will work for the long run. Sometimes, people's membrane transports too fast or too slow and it just is not possible. Here's to hoping my membrane is goldilocks.

Aside from transitioning to PD and also working, I managed to get out of town for a week and a half to Hawaii. It was the first trip I have taken just to take a trip in a long time. Sadly, Eva had school and could not join me. As amazing and gorgeous as Maui and the Big Island were, the best parts of the trip were spending time with some great friends, Bubba, Tom, and Elizabeth. Bubbs and E, thanks for putting Tom and me up and for being the amazing people you are. It was a lot of fun. Here are some highlights.

Well, I hope to see all you at the race on the 31st and I hope that everyone has been doing well. It is still infrequent, but I do update facebook a little more often than the blog and I would love to be friends.

Take Care and Live Strong,
Tyler