1-12-2007 Back on the Blog

As a reflection of the past 6 months, the last month has certainly been filled with highs and lows and I have just been trying to hang on, enjoy, and get through it the best I can. Again, it has been tough losing my grandmother. We were so close. I continue catching myself about to make a call to her place just to check in and let her know what I am up to. Thank you all so much for your warm words, thoughts, and prayers. She really was an amazing woman and hopefully she can help me through my current struggle.

My health has been pretty steady over the last month. Just minor ups and downs. I still get the usual excess siliva and lemony/metallic taste in my mouth for the few days after a full round of chemo. I am pretty tired on my chemo days but otherwise my energy level has been pretty good. I have been staying pretty active and have been managing to fill the days. My inner plumbing is working as well as I could hope for though I am still a little gassy from time to time. Dr. Isacoff has slowly reduced my steroid level so that now I am down to 5mg a day (when I started, I was on 60mg). Actually, this is my week off of Xeloda, so I am only taking 2 pills/day here for the next few days (pretty exciting change from the 7 pills a day I was taking last week). I am still injecting myself with Lovenox twice a day and will probably have to continue with that for another month or two. I have had a couple small sores in my mouth but as long as I am careful while brushing, they usually resolve themselves in a week or so. My weight has been steady at a hefty 190lbs. and I am actually trying to drop about 10-20 to get back to my pre-cancer weight. I sort of overshot that mark during the high calorie craze. Otherwise, everything has been fairly normal. I know I am just repeating myself, but it is still very trippy to feel so normal with such a horrible disease. I guess that is just the insidious nature of pancreatic cancer. That it can grow unnoticed for quite a while until it is too late to do anything about.

As far as my activities have been going, I have tried to stay true to form and run Eva as ragged as possible. Though she keeps up much better now that I am a little more tired and quite out of shape. After my Grandma passed, the family kept our trip to Vegas (we figured that Gram would have wanted us to go) and then on the way back Eva and I hit Palm Springs for a few days (thanks to the generosity of the Sanders for letting us stay at their wonderful condo). I have been over to Catalina 3 times in the last month with various friends and actually went SCUBA diving with a buddy about a week before Christmas. It felt good to get under water (it had been a couple years) and we saw some pretty cool stuff - A number of sand bass, some calicos, and 7-8 lobsters. I have also resumed flying lessons and am about halfway to my private pilot licence. Two weeks ago, my buddy Tom Allen came down and we took a little tour of LA with my instructor. We flew from Long Beach, up over LAX, to UCLA, then along the mountains over to the Rose Bowl and Dodger stadium and then back down to Long Beach. I cannot wait to go on little trips with Eva.

I had a really nice Christmas with Eva, my parents, and the rest of the local family. We had a really wonderful dinner at my Grandmother's place and it was just a good way to sort of remember her and get the family together. She always loved it when everyone got together. We did a bit of the division of stuff amongst the grand kids and I was pretty stoked to have gotten her M&M jar. As far back as I can remember, she always had this jar and it was always filled with M&Ms. I think it was how she won over the grand kids at an early age. After dinner at Gram's, Eva, my parents, and I went to church and then back to San Pedro. We got up on Christmas morning and had a wonderful breakfast and really got to spend some good quality time together (though, these days, we try to make all the time we spend together, good quality time). My spending habits have changed a bit since diagnosis, so we sort of went big on Christmas this year. Just trying to do our part to keep that economy rolling. Eva gave my parents Cranium and we had blast playing it in the evening. Between me humming "Billie Jean," Eva sculpting a bikini out of clay, and my father acting out a volcano, it was quite a scene. I have to give props to my mom for figuring out what my father was doing half the time. All in all, it was a really wonderful holiday. On the 26th and 27th I was back in for another full round of chemo.

Last weekend, Eva and I took a little trip back up to Park City for a little winter getaway. We stayed at my oncologist's condo again (an incredible place) and it was quite a good time. Ran into a bit of a snowstorm on the way up to Park City and again on Saturday which made the snow great and certainly added a bit of excitement. The Camry we rented did surprisingly well in the snow though once we got it into the garage we did not dare to take it out again until the roads were clear. Luckily there are free buses in town. We boarded at Park City on Friday and Saturday and then skied on Sunday at Deer Valley. Both mountains were awesome. Lots of different terrain, long runs, and great snow. We were hoping Dr. Isacoff would have made it up over the weekend but he had some other things to take care of. Though we missed his company, passing on a few extravagant meals allowed us to divert our funds for the lift tickets which they were certainly not just giving away. Saturday got a little intense on the slopes as a wicked wind blew in and the temperature dropped to -5 F (not counting the wind chill). Eva and I were well prepared and made it off the mountain with no problems. The lift operators got a kick out of seeing people stumbling around in the wind on the top of the mountain. The storm blew through and Sunday was incredible. Blue sky, temps in the 20s and just a spectacular day. Deer Valley is only open to skiers which was a neat experience. It was good to get all those punk kids on their boards out of the picture. Eva basically worked me on the slopes but we were both surprised at how well I kept up. I would need to take breaks, especially on the longer runs, but generally she would not have to wait too long at the bottom of the hill. What a wonderful weekend.

Once we got back, I went in for another full round of chemo (Tuesday and Wednesday) and then went flying yesterday. Just trying to get those landings dialed in. I can get the plane on the ground with no problems but now we want to just set her down as if I were landing on butter.

I hope everything is going well in all of your lives. I continue to be bad about returning emails or calls for which I am sorry. Just know that I truly appreciate all the love and support I have received throughout this whole journey. I was especially touched by the kind words that were said about my Grandmother.

Take Care and Live Strong,
Tyler