4-22-2007 Remembering Barbara Wright

On Sunday afternoon, Eva, my parents and I went to the Memorial for Barbara Wright. Fittingly, it was held at the fitness facility at Orange Coast College. As expected, the place was filled. She had so many friends and family and the lines between the two were often blurred or non-existent. For those of you who were not lucky enough to have known her, to me she was Mrs. Coach, the wife of my high school cross-country coach. Both Barbara and George had such a big impact on making me the person I am today. Both provided incredible models for the way that I would like to live my life. Their spirit, zest, energy, attitude, and love for life were unparalleled. Amy Fillipow, the current Mrs. Coach and an admirable woman in her own right, reminded me of something I had said on a training run in Mammoth one summer. I had expressed my desire to find and marry a girl like Mrs. Coach or Amy. One that shared their wonderful outlook on life, was physically fit enough to enjoy a variety of outdoor activities, and one that was personable and fun so that “getting there” was just as fun as “being there.” The whole package, if you will. Eva certainly fits the bill and has made as happy as I would have imagined a woman could make me when I had expressed those thoughts on that run.

The service was particularly tough on Eva and me. Barbara has a special place in my heart. Saying that it hit a little close to home would be a gross understatement. She had put up an incredible fight against lung cancer and had an incredibly optimistic spirit throughout her journey. We all would have liked to see the journey turn out differently, but we take comfort in knowing that she is reunited with her husband George now. They were so in love, I suppose they just could not bear to be apart from each other.

Barbara was such an incredible woman and was just always so warm and loving towards everyone she met. I remember, about a week after I was diagnosed, I gave her a call. That was one of the most meaningful conversations of my life. She gave me the strength, attitude, and outlook I needed to get through one of the toughest times of my life. I will always be grateful to her for her kind words that day. It is certainly true that our care givers live with cancer just as we do during these times but, I am sorry to say, that unless you actually have the cancer in your body, you will never totally know the experience of living with cancer. Words from one survivor to another are a sacred thing. In both of our efforts to come to grips with our disease, we each asked, “Why me?” Her response, in which I agree, was that it was just shitty luck. It was that simple. A particularly poignant comment at the service, was that health, fitness, and eating right do not guarantee longevity but merely enhance the quality of life during the time you are given. In that respect, Barbara and George lived incredibly full, rich, and wonderful lives and we should all aspire to live like them.

The rest of the weekend was filled with comparably insignificant events but I am sure were in accordance with Barbara’s desires for each of us to live life as best we can. I really enjoyed the rain on Friday and spent most of the day just reading and writing and looking out of the window. After Eva got off of work, we went for the usual run/ride down Santa Monica Blvd. The air was so fresh and the trees and greenery seemed to be bursting with color. We got In’N’Out on the way down to San Pedro, which we had not had in a while. This was the beginning of a wonderfully indulgent weekend.



On Saturday, Eva and I slept in and then had a nice breakfast with the family. Only one waffle these days, not 3 anymore. It is still exciting when you add boysenberries, whipped cream, and syrup. After breakfast, Eva and I went for a bike ride around the peninsula. It was a beautiful day. From the north side of the peninsula, you could see all the way up the coast to the Santa Monica Mountains. It was a great time with Eva and she is a good little rider. There may have been some discrepancies between the bikes, but I managed to work her a bit on the bike and regain some of the dignity I have lost on the runs over the last 6 months. After the ride, my mom and Eva went to Costco on a little shopping adventure and I hung out at home and recovered. Maybe I did not work her as much as I had thought. In the evening, my folks, Eva, and I went out to Neil’s for dinner. It was our first time there and it was a wonderful place. Great seafood.



On Sunday morning, I got up, got ready, and went fishing. First time going out by myself in a while. It was pretty nice on the water, a small swell, just enough to be rocky but the wind was fairly calm. It was a little gloomy going out but the sky opened up a few times while I was on the water. I always think of a choir of angels as the rays of sunlight break though the clouds. Unfortunately the glory of God did not really help me find the fish, but what are you going to do. At least it was really pretty out there and I always enjoy being on the water. Eva got out on a run along the cliffs, during which, she saw dolphins heading my way. She ran as fast as she could to try to beat the dolphins and caught up to me at Abalone cove. She was waiving and shouting but could not get my attention as I was pretty focused on fishing and trying to figure out what would entice the fish. She went to a payphone, called me, and finally got my attention. Apparently the dolphins had passed by only about 20 meters from my boat but I totally missed them. Oh-well. There will always be another day and another possibility for more dolphins. All in all, it was a tough day of fishing, barely any bites. I thought I was going to get skunked but I threw out a line at a few different spots on the way in and managed to pull up one Scuptin. It was probably about 10 inches and probably would have been tasty but I am more of a catch and release kind of guy. My streak remains intact - every time I have been fishing since diagnosis, I have caught at least 1 fish. We will see how long I can keep that up.