Friday, February 23, 2007

2-19-2007 through 2-23-2007

On Monday, we gave Sony back to Dr. Isacoff. It was sad seeing him go but Eva and I stayed strong and managed to get on with our lives. The apartment just seemed so empty without him. Even after he was gone, he was still prominently featured in our dinner conversation. On Monday, Eva and I went for a run/bike ride during her lunch break. As always, it was good to get out and move around a bit. After she was finished with work, we watched “The Brother’s Grimm.” It looked like it might be too scary for me but I just held Eva’s hand tighter and made it through.

On Tuesday, I hung around the apartment in the morning and then went off to a little political event. Eva and I have been pretty into current events and we had heard that Barrack Obama was going to have a rally in Los Angeles. I got my little e-ticket and then cruised down to the Baldwin Hills to catch his afternoon address. I had never been to one of these rallies before and it was pretty interesting. It was a pretty diverse crowd, from the hippied out young white people to cute little old couples to young men and women in suits to normal looking everyday people. I liked what he had to say. He has actually taken stances on a number of issues and I tend to agree with his views on almost all of those key issues. They included getting out of Iraq, getting everyone covered with health insurance, increasing educational funding, looking at alternative fuels and addressing global warming. One provocative idea was that, currently, we are funding both sides of the war on terror. It will be interesting to see how the race for the White house shapes up over the next 2 years.

After the rally, I went down to Long Beach for my first flying lesson in about a month. The plan was for a night flight to Camarillo. It was a pretty night and the flight was pretty smooth. It still amuses me how much you use the freeways when flying. To get to Camarillo, we took the 405 to LAX, then kept flying north until we hit the 101, then we took the 101 to Camarillo. On the way back we flew over the Santa Monica Mountains to the coast, followed PCH back to LAX, and then the 405 back to Long Beach. The freeways just end up being really readily identifiable landmarks and easy navigation aids.

On Wednesday, Eva and I went out for another bike/run during lunch and then ended up watching “Who Killed the Electric Car?” at night. It was a very provocative movie and I would definitely recommend it for anyone who drives a car.

My dad came up on Thursday and he joined Eva and I on another bike/run. Our usual course starts at our apartment, goes through the neighborhood to Santa Monica Blvd, takes the dirt path along Santa Monica Blvd. to the fountain at Wilshire, and then returns to the apartment the same way. It is a good little run and is about 5 miles total. I usually ride my bike until the dirt path and then decide if I want to keep riding or if I am up for running the dirt part. It is some good bonding time for Eva and I. She has gotten into great shape and can totally carry on a conversation while running at a pretty good clip. I can maintain a conversation on the bike but generally need her to talk while I am running. Sometimes, they are quite the little political discussions as we go over the topics of the news hour, “Left, Right, and Center,” or “The McLaughlin Group.” She has come a long ways in her knowledge about American history and politics. Somehow the history has not enchanted her into getting excited about becoming an American citizen. Oh-well, I guess I will just have to keep working on her. Maybe I should make her say the Pledge of Allegiance when we get up in the morning. I am sure that would go over real well.

It was a supposed to rain on Thursday, and it was pretty cloudy, but after a dry run we threw caution to the wind and decided to go golfing. It started drizzling on our way over to the course and by the time we got there it was raining pretty steadily. We killed a half hour in the little diner and got ourselves a good afternoon snack/meal waiting for the rain to stop but no luck. We weren’t really that well prepared as we had left one umbrella in my dad’s car, the other umbrella in the apartment, and both of our jackets were far from waterproof. Who knew it actually rained in LA? We put on the inadequate clothes we had and decided that we would play until it was too miserable to continue. The course was the Los Feliz par 3 over by Griffith park. It was the golf course featured in “Swingers” which made it that much more exciting to play. The only other players on the course were a couple of seven year olds and their instructor. We decided to hop in front of them and played the 9 hole course starting at hole 3 and ending at hole 2. Both of our first shots were actually pretty good and we started out wondering if our rounds were going to be reminiscent of Caddy Shack. We agreed that, at the first lightning, we would call it, no matter how well we were doing. We played a decent round, we got a couple pars, some bogeys and a few double and triple bogeys. The triple bogeys were probably caused by the conditions of the course. I am sure it had nothing to do with our skill level. My dad summed it up pretty well when he said, “I am glad that we don’t do this so often that we would actually care about how well we played.” Amongst the rollers and shanks, there were moments of glory. Luckily the course was pretty much free of other golfers who might have inhibited our celebratory dances after key moments like 2 putting or just avoiding the trees. By the end we were pretty soaked but both of us thought it was well worth it.

After we got back and dried off a bit, we went out to dinner with Eva to a place called Orso, just a couple blocks away. It is still so cool to be able to walk to all these really nice restaurants. This place was pretty classy and complete with Hollywood wannabes and Beverly Hills monsters. If you do not know what a Beverly Hills Monster is, just ask Eva, and make sure that you have a few minutes.

Today I went for another flying lesson. We just cruised out to the practice area over the Long Beach Harbor, reviewed some maneuvers and did a little flying by instruments, and then practiced some landings. After the lesson, I went up to UCLA and had lunch with Mike, a friend from high school. After circling around Westwood a bit, we miraculously found a parking spot and, though we had seen some other restaurants during the search for a spot, decided to choose from the 3 that were right in front of us. We ended up going with a vegetarian place and had a really nice lunch. It is pretty amazing all the various meat substitutes they have these days. I was almost hoping that they had a little sampler platter so that I could compare and try to determine which ones were actually like the meat they claimed to emulate. Mike is a pretty hilarious guy and I had a pretty fun time hearing about the good and the frustrating aspects of being a PhD student. I told him that he still looks pretty normal for a math grad student and that if he ever wants to get anywhere that he should really think about dressing more eccentrically. We will see if he heads my advice.

As usual, I am still doing well. It has been nice taking a week off even though the chemo has remained mellow. I still feel normal. Looks like a busy couple weeks coming up with a few little adventures planned. I hope all of you are doing well and wish you all the best in whatever endeavors you are undertaking.

Take Care and Live Strong,
Tyler

Monday, February 19, 2007

2-17-2007 Weekend with Sony

Eva and I decided that, because there is so much hype around Valentine’s day and, since the day is fairly arbitrary (sure you can make the Hallmark argument that the 14th is the day of Saint Valentine but the whole holiday was sort of invented anyways), we would celebrate Valentine’s day on the 15th. OK, in actuality we are just cheap and did not want to spend $30 on a dozen sad looking roses. We had plans to go to LACMA and then out to dinner, but those sort of got derailed when an opportunity presented itself at the oncologist’s office. I went in for some blood work and, after I commented on how soft Sony’s coat was, Dr. Isacoff asked if I wanted to take him for the weekend. I immediately said yes as I knew how much Eva had wanted a dog when she was a kid and how much she loves Sony. After my blood was drawn, Dr. Isacoff and I went down to his car to gather Sony’s belongings. Sony does not travel light. We had a doggie bed, and two bags full of food, toys, and treats. I got some simple instructions, “1/3 of a can of dog food, twice a day, cut it up into Sony size bites, and microwave it for 11 seconds, he usually poops twice a day, morning and night, but he will let you know, treat him like a baby and you will have no problems” and off Sony and I went. He is so trusting, I really do not think he would mind if he was dog-napped.

When I got home I called Eva to make sure that she was going to come home for lunch and then Sony sort of explored the apartment and got used to his new surroundings. About an hour after I got home, Dr. Isacoff called to check in. “You two still alive?” he inquired. “Yup, no problem.” I replied trying to hide the insecurity in my voice. I was just beginning to realize that this really was like caring for a baby and that I basically had zero experience in that role. Adding to the intensity was that this was not just anyone’s dog, but my oncologist’s dog. He basically has my life in his hands and I would really like to stay on his good side.

A bit after 12, Eva came home and was greeted by a little furry bundle of joy. She was noticeably excited and began playing with Sony. About 10 minutes later, I got my “good to see you for lunch” kiss. I made sure that I had done the right thing by bringing Sony home, and she just nodded with a big smile on her face. We ate a little lunch and played with the dog some more and then, sadly, Eva had to go back to work.

Thursday evening, we took Sony on a walk to the grocery store and stocked up on food for ourselves. Eva and I always made fun of those people who are obsessed with their dogs, but it only took a few hours for our lives to be consumed by Sony. He became the focal point of a majority of our conversations and we were constantly watching or playing with him. Friday morning, Sony got us up at 5:30am and let us know that he needed to go outside. I threw a jacket on and took him out. I had not been up before the sun in quite a while and was a little surprised that it was still dark.

The energy of the dog itself was not the only thing adding to the excitement of having Sony around, our building does not allow pets. Every time we needed to go in or out of the building with Sony, it was like a little smuggling operation. In figuring out the best way to get him in and out, we tried backpacks, shopping bags, and finally my travel bag. That seemed t be the ticket as Sony actually really liked it in there and would occasionally go into it of his own accord when it was just lying around the apartment. This was a good bag for smuggling, as he totally fit inside and was fairly comfortable, but Sony did not really understand the idea of staying still or quiet during the little operations. He liked being in the bag but always wanted to have his head out so he could see where we were going. He didn’t ever bark while in the bag but he sort of has this grumble that sounds like he is snoring and that would sort of give away that there was something alive in the bag. We were doing really well until we went out for lunch on Friday. On the way back, our manager was walking into the building just in front of us. He held the door for Eva and though we were a little behind, we were almost sure he saw us. It has been a few days, and he has not said anything, so hopefully we are in the clear. We felt a little bad as he sort of helped us get our new apartment. Anyways, we decided we had better head down to San Pedro instead of smuggling Sony around all weekend.

When we got down to San Pedro, my parents were really excited to see Sony and Sony just loved all the attention. He even liked my dad who has not had a very good track record with canines. Probably the most hilarious aspect of the new setting was the combination of Sony with the wood floors. It did not look like Sony has had too much experience with such a slippery surface, as there were a few small crashes when Sony was getting used to the house. We had to make sure not to throw a toy too close to the dinning room table or the wall or you were just setting Sony up for a collision. After about a day, he sort of figured out the idea of slowing down before getting to within inches of the various obstacles.

Sony is an incredibly easy dog in a lot of ways but also a very attention needy dog as well. He is remarkably mellow and accepting of new people and adjusted to staying with us really well. Then again, it always seems that once you start doing something that does not include him, he gets restless. He also seems to like high places, which was a little interesting to me as he is quite a little dog. It probably is related to his curious nature as he is probably interested in what is on the table as well as what he can see from the higher vantage point.

Between just is cute little face, adorable antics, and wonderful personality, Sony melted our hearts in the short amount of time we got to spend with him. It was really fun taking him out on walks as well as playing with him around the house. Eva and I got a little taste of parenthood and would find ourselves getting anxious if we did not know exactly where he was. Of course there were not so fun times, too, like picking up poop at 5:30 in the morning, but overall, Sony was just great to have around and hopefully we will get to take care of him again sometime.

As far as me, I am doing well and am off of chemo for a short break. I will resume Xeloda next Thursday and resume chemo the week after. Having the dog around definitely got my mind off of the cancer and kept a smile on my face. On Saturday, I went on a longer bike ride with my father- once around the peninsula, 22 miles. Riding the bike is one of the only activities that I can do for an extended period of time and it felt really good to sweat a bit. I still feel basically normal and am very thankful for that. The window into parenthood that Sony provided was also something of a catalyst to keep focused on beating this disease and hopefully having the opportunity to be a parent one day.
-TN

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to you all. I hope that each and every one of you are as lucky as I am and have someone special to share it with. If not, I hear that they have some pretty wicked singles parties today so maybe that perfect someone is just a few drinks away.

I would have liked to have posted more over the last few weeks but between the various activities and just not feeling like writing, it has gone a bit by the wayside. Also, if I have not returned your call, I will try to shortly. Don't think that I am ignoring you.

Healthwise I am still feeling really well and handling the treatment really well. I had a scan on Jan 15 with some mixed results. The good news was that there were no new sites of metastases and that the metastases previously observed had not grown or changed (still a handful of small spots on the liver and a nodule at my lung base). The bad news was that the cyst had actually grown a bit. It had shrunk pretty significantly after the first scan on Oct 31, 2006 and is still much smaller than when it was characterized during diagnosis, but it seems that if it is now growing, that it is no longer responding to this particular chemo regimen. So, we have changed regimens. I am now on a drug called Mitomycin C along with Xeloda. The drug is a purple liquid that is given intravenously from a syringe that looks like a small turkey baster. The liquid really looks like purple gatorade. The chemo schedule has not really been established yet, but it looks like I will be getting this every other week. It has been quite a change of time commitment with this drug regimen versus the previous regimen. Before I would spend 4 hours on two consecutive days getting chemo in the office. Now I am in and out in less than an hour and only go in for one day. It is nice not having to be there so long but actually, I really enjoy the office and would almost always love chatting it up in the chemo lounge. It also makes me a little anxious to go from 5 drugs down to 2. If I had it my way, they would have just added this drug into the mix. The side effects are pretty minimal as I have not noticed anything particularly out of the ordinary. Eva has mentioned that my mood has changed a bit but that might have also been from being a bit bummed out about the scan. I don't know. I still feel healthy and have been holding onto the idea that if they did not tell me I was sick, I would not know.

As far as keeping busy, I did a bit of flying in January and passed the written test for my pilots licence. Then Eva and I headed over to Switzerland to see Eva's family. We spent a couple of weeks on the continent and it was really fun. Eva got to go shopping with her mother which some how started with some pant shopping for me (which I do not know how I survived). Let me tell you, pant shopping has become quite a humbling experience. I have actually dropped a few pounds but not really enough to make a significant difference in my waste size. I was a pretty good size guy before adding 20 pounds and now I am just a big boy. When the 36s were too tight, we went to the 38s, and then even a 40. Pretty depressing for a guy that used to get 34s so I could sag them down around my butt. Eva and her mother were relentless, too. It was like they were on a mission to find me some pants that fit well. They just kept coming back with more pants. I could not keep up with trying them all on. Then, Eva's mother had an epiphany, "Stretch pants are the answer." Eventually, we found a couple pairs of pants and the ordeal was over. For the rest of the afternoon, they let me hang out at the food court with my laptop while they sought out the deals they had been dreaming about. They made some pretty incredible scores, too. It seemed like everything Eva got was like 30 franks marked down from 300. What a cute little shopping duo.

Aside from shopping, we had a couple cultural outings but the primary reason for the trip was to spend time with Eva's family. We had a few really nice dinners with Eva's parents as well as George (the brother) and his girlfriend Susi. I do not know if it was the time change or the chemo or what, but Eva and I also slept more than we have in a long time while we were over there. We felt a little bad for missing breakfast most mornings, but it was really nice and rejuvenating to get some good quality sleep. We did do one little trip to the L'Alsce region of France. It is the fertile Rein land region that has traded hands between Germany and France probably a couple dozen times. There are a number of cute little towns in the middle of vast vineyards. We had a spectacular dinner at one of these little vineyards. The food and the ambiance were great until, as we were leaving, the cook started hanging off Eva a bit. A group of actors assured me that this was the French way and then we joined them for a bit of champagne and desserts. I did not like it much but was appeased by a couple jars of preserves. Yes, it was as random as it sounds.

Finally, I just want to pay a little tribute to my wonderful wife, without which I would almost certainly not be here right now. She is an incredible source of happiness and joy in my life and I could not imagine living without her. I am continually perplexed by how such a beautiful woman can also be so kind and loving and fun to be with. I could not have created a more perfect companion given an infinite amount of resources and time. Eva, I truly love you, you are the light of my life.
-Tyler