Tuesday, April 23, 2013


An eclectic entry:

A) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER
B) Snow and Love
C) Exciting News
D) House-keeping item



A) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER

APRIL 23rd 2013




Yes, it is your birthday today…

When Tyler was at the ICU end of year 2011 he was on a vent to help him with the respiration. Basically, they put a rather large tube down the trachea to artificially help with the breathing and oxygenation. To counteract the natural gag reflex and to put the patient at ease, the patient is put under a slight yet constant sedative.  Not only is the tube extremely bothersome, but it also makes it impossible to talk. Thus, we would communicate with Tyler on either a white board or on a note pad. Because of the sedation, Tyler would fade in and out. Sometimes, he was almost fully there, and at other times, he was drowsy and very, very sleepy.  

After awaking from one of his naps, albeit being still very drowsy, he was in a writing mood. One of the first things he wrote was the above sentence. It still chokes me up thinking about it. It was so endearing. Even in being in one of the most desolate places, hooked up to cables and tubes, surrounded by all kinds of humming, buzzing, and beeping machines, Tyler was celebrating a little party in his dreams.

Though you’re not with us physically today, we’re all thinking of you with loving memories. I wished with all my heart we could partake in your little birthday bash and celebrate with you this special day of yours.




Memories never fade…
They keep our loved ones
in our hearts forever.



Thanks to Dennis and Yvonne’s miracle work, today 32 years ago, little Tyler was born. As a result, my life as well as the lives of others would be touched in so many beautiful ways, changing our paths- us- forever.

We all meet people in our daily lives. Most of them become fleeting encounters, some develop into deeper friendships, and then there are the few happenstances where strangers become more than friends but part of family. We never know nor can we control whom we’ll meet today or tomorrow. Pragmatically speaking, it’s all luck and influenced by statistics (I love statistics). The more I’m grateful that life somehow arranged for Tyler and I to meet. What were the odds that we should have met, for me being from Switzerland and for Tyler being from the US? Somehow, stars aligned for us to be at the same place at the same time and actually talking to each other. Hadn’t Tyler ran after me that day at the Haas Pool, my life, our lives, would have been completely different. Serendipity.

I consider myself very, very fortunate. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of Tyler. Often, Tyler’s loss swells into an unbearable pain, making me go into a tailspin that takes all of my energy and determination to regain control. And yes, there were definitely incredibly difficult periods in the past beyond what I could have ever imagined. But, if I could to go back in time, I’ll do it all over again. In the nine and a half years that we had been together, Tyler has brought more to my life than words could ever describe. I had a good life prior to meeting Tyler. But if I had to compare my life without him to my life with Tyler, it’s like comparing a stick figure picture to an HD-3D-colored action movie with all the mind-blowing special effects that one can think of with the bonus of the most handsome special agent in the world. Through Tyler I was blessed with knowing what true happiness felt like. Knowing what it feels to unconditionally love and care for and being loved and cared for is one of the greatest gifts Tyler has given me. When I think of Tyler, I think of the purest heart I’ve ever known. I miss you today and every day.




B) Snow and Love

I might be going out on a limb here, but the other day I was pondering the idea of the word ‘love’. Yes, I ponder here and there- something Tyler and I used to do quite a lot. For example, the Inuit have twenty different names for the various colors of snow. Snow isn’t just white. Depending on the shape of the crystals, the thawing and freezing process, the impurity, and other factors the color will have different shades. For the untrained eye, snow is snow, but for the snow expert, there’s a wide range of snow.

How is it then, that there is only one word to describe the feeling of love? Love has defined human history ever since its inception. Entire wars have been waged on behalf of love. Volumes of books have been filled with poetry and stories of love and feelings. Hollywood can’t last without bringing out at least one special romantic movie for Valentine’s Day in addition to all the other dramas and romantic reels that come out in a year’s time. How is it then, that there is only one word to describe love? Snow might have twenty something different colors, but in comparison to the different types and degrees of love, snow definitely pales (zinger!).

There’s the love we feel for our family, our siblings, our parents, our grandparents, cousins… a feeling of affection, nurtured by time and the bond of blood. Then there is the love we have for our friends, a feeling of personal attachment. Of course, some of us have pets. We love our pets and we tend to develop strong compassions towards our four-legged or feathered companions. Oh, and very importantly, most of us love food, a feeling of pleasure, indulgence, and a social activity.

And then there is the love that we feel for our special One in our life, defined by physical and emotional attraction that fills the air with sparks, putting us on cloud nine. And most likely, there will be more than one special One within the period of one’s life. But never will the feeling be the same. In kindergarten, we might hold hands, not really grasping why, but we just do. As a teenager, with hormones raging, every aspect of emotional life seems amplified. Later, with hormones being more in balance, the mind dominates over emotions. In any case, the feeling that we call love will be different depending on the relationship and on the point in time. So why can it be that there is only one word to express love? This phenomenon is not unique to the English language. Interestingly, in the five languages that I speak, there’s only one word that describes love. The next best is ‘like’. I do understand that there are always qualifiers that can be added, as in ‘teenage love’, ‘super-crazy-intense love’, ‘rational love’, ‘mature love’…

You might be wondering why I’m going on this tangent. When I look back at some of the moments I’ve had with Tyler, so many times I felt that the word ‘love’ even when combined with a qualifier, just didn’t do the feelings that I felt for Tyler any justice. There were moments when we were lying next to each other, holding each other tight, all snuggled up. And even in being absolutely close to each other, it wasn’t enough. We wanted to melt into each other. And to be honest, I have never in my life felt such a deep and intense feeling as what I had for Tyler. Yes, this might be self-serving, but I think this feeling is deserving of its own word that stretches the meaning of ‘love’ into new dimensions.

Tyler put it beautifully: "There are some people who seek the big firework, the butterflies that people experience usually at the beginning of a relationship when they first meet. Unfortunately, big fireworks don’t last too long and before you know, they have vanished. And the quest for the next firework begins. Then there are other people, who understand the preciousness of the small, smoldering flame that endures and keeps the two warm and close. And as time goes by, the flame grows stronger and fills every inch of the body, heart, and soul with warmth and joy." Tyler would say that it takes true maturity to realize the opportunity right in front and to understand the treasure of the small but resilient flame, foregoing the hunt for big fireworks forever. We had found our flame.

Tyler left an imprint on my life that will last forever. I’m eternally grateful that Tyler has walked this world and that I got so lucky to have been his special One.




C) Exciting News

1. This is Paradise: Short Stories by Tiana Kahakauwila


Tyler would have definitely wanted to have this amazing and wonderful news spread to all of you. Here it goes: We all always knew that she was brilliant, smart, accomplished AND beautiful to boot (I can say that- I'm not the President of the United States :). Tiana is the author of This is Paradise: Short Stories, which will be available June 9th of this year. I can speak for all of who know Tiana, we are so proud of you! This is an amazing accomplishment. I'm so happy for you!

What others are saying:

Overview

Elegant, brutal, and profound- this magnificent debut captures the grit and glory of modern Hawai'i with breathtaking force and accuracy.

In a stunning collection that announces the arrival of an incredible talent, Kristiana Kahakauwila travels the islands of Hawai'i, making the fabled place her own. Exploring the deep tensions between local and tourist, tradition and expectation, facade and authentic self, This is Paradise provides an unforgettable portrait of life as it's truly being lived on Maui, Oahu, Kaua'i and the Big Island.

In the gut-punch of "Wanle", a beautiful tough young woman wants nothing more than to follow in her father's footsteps as a legendary cockfighter. With striking versatility, the title story employs a chorus of voices- the women of Waikiki- to tell the tale of a young tourist drawn to the darker side of the city's nightlife. "The Old Paniolo Way" limns the difficult nature of legacy and inheritance when a patriarch tries to settle the affairs of his farm before is death.

Exquisitely written and bursting with sharply observed detail, Kahakauwila's stories remind us of the powerful desire to belong, to put down roots, and to have a place to call home.

- Barnes and Noble


From the Publisher

"Vividly imagined, beautifully written, at times almost unbearable suspenseful- the stories in Kristiana Kahakauwila's debut collection This is Paradise are boldly inventive in their exploration of the tenuous nature of human relations. These are poignant stories of "paradise' - Hawai'i- with all that "paradise" entails of the transience of sensuous beauty. Never could I have imagined that I might read with such sympathy a story narrated by a young woman who trains roosters to fight- but 'Wanle' is that story."

- Joyce Carol Oates


To secure your copy of this pearl, go to:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/this-is-paradise-kristiana-kahakauwila/1113507802


2. Inside Combat Rescue- John Collin



John Collin shot, edited, and produced Inside Combat Rescue for National Geographic Channel. It's a 6-episode series that just recently aired. It got great reviews and ratings. The camera work, the editing, and the story telling is extremely well done. This is another amazing feat from one of our very close friends. In case you have missed the episodes, some of them can be found on You tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjkt07Ny_ac
http://www.denverpost.com/television/ci_22584548/air-force-pararescuers-natgeos-six-part-inside-combat


D) House-keeping item

1. PANCAN Advocacy Days: June 17th and 18th 2013



In case any of you would like to join us on Capital Hill, please go to this site for further information:

http://www.pancan.org/section_get_involved/advocate/annual_lobby_day.php


HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUBBILY...