Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Wednesday 9-20-2006

The day after infusion went pretty well. At this point I just do not know what to expect so I have been just sort of monitoring how I am feeling and trying to pay close attention to my body. Some patients have said the day after or two days after are the tough ones but so far so good. We will see how it goes as treatment continues. Eva has been really wonderful, too as she keeps a close eye on me and really notices any sort of change in disposition. Just the little rundown, the breathing is slowly improving, some slight nausea but nothing major and it did not really prevent me from eating, energy is decent but a flight of stairs will still take it out of me, and I was still super hydrated as I was up around 165. I used the bathroom 5 times during the night. I guess using the toilet like an old man is a small inconvenience I will go through to save my kidneys.

I did some computer stuff in the morning and then my buddy Steve came up to the apartment. We hung out with Eva on her lunch break and then we grabbed burritos and went up to Franklin Canyon Reservoir. We ate at lakeside and it was just a really beautiful location and afternoon. My big physical activity for the day was a walk around the reservoir (it is pretty tiny) where we had a few interesting encounters. We did see some very pretty ducks and we got Steve doing a tribute to the crocodiles hunter next to a dead fish but the most bizarre episode of the afternoon involved a particularly perplexing animal apparently of the human variety. I am not really presenting this in a fair manner because I am skewed by how the whole encounter went but it definitely provided a bit of amusement for Steve and myself. Anyways, Steve and I were walking around the lake and I wanted to get a shot of both of us. There were some picnic tables that I could use, I set up the shot with my little tripod, and took the photo. There was a very normal looking woman who was sitting fairly close to the picnic tables, apparently there to just enjoy the lake, who kind of asked what we were doing. I showed her the photos we just took and then she seemed to be really fascinated by the camera so I asked if she would take a few more of us. I think this was the first time she had ever seen a digital camera. She took some photos, gave back the camera, and then launched into what seemed to be a never ending monologue. It began with "Well, I came down here to cry but then I got here and I just couldn't cry", then went into "I was doing make-up for celebrities, and I did meet a lot of stars, and I liked them as people but then I had bad feelings towards them and it was like I just wanted what they had which was money", and another gem was "I really don't like working for anyone, I don't handle bosses well, I am sort of a team player which is why I think I would be good as a fisherman." Intermixed with these comments were references to pearls of wisdom that she had seen that day on the Rosie O'Donnell Show or Morey or whatever. She also said that because she was probably a native american in a previous live she felt she was really intuned with peoples feelings in situations though I don't think she had a clue about what Steve and I were feeling after hearing that first line. Steve and I nodded and listened for about 15 minutes until I think I just said something like "Well I guess you just need to figure out what your going to do" and started slowly walking away. Steve commented later that he was amazed at my facial expression the whole time. Unknowingly I guess I had a very interested face that seemed to say "please continue I am genuinely interested." In my head I wanted to just shake the woman and say "Look lady, I have pancreatic cancer and am in a fight for my life. I don't have time to sit here and listen to a 45 year old woman try to find meaning in her life. Just shut up and go do something." All in all, it definitely made the walk a memorable one. Hopefully she finds her way.
Eva and I had a really nice evening hanging out with Steve at the apartment and I just wanted to give props to Eva as the cribbage champion of the night.

-TN

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